Why Am I In The Naruto Universe!
by mitsuki1313
Summary: SasukeXoc sasuoc WTF just happened! One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage mo
1. Chapter 1

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'_thinking'_

""people talking at the same time""

'**INNER SAKURA'**

(Ren POV during the opening song is in _Italic_)

My Oc: check out my deviant art gallery for a pic, link is on my profile

Name: Roax Ren

Sex: Female

Age : 12-13

Hair Color : dark brown

Hair length : To mid-back

Eye Color : Blue with spacks of grey and green

Favorite Food : Chocolate takoyaki, wendy's food, onigiri

Favorite Color : Red,Purple,Black

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**Come on!**

_OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? WHY AM I FALLING? WHERE'D MY FROSTY GO?_

**Owareru yoni isoi de iru**

**kawai ta mune ga kari tateru no sa**

**hito kiwa tsuyoku kagayaku hoshi wa**

**ima mo tooku ni aru **

_dammit, I hate this song WAIT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! Why is a Naruto opening playing?_

**ushinatte yuku motome nagara **

**ubawa rete yuku ate nagara**

**dare no tame de naku dare no mono de naku**

**oretachi no ima ga**

_Was my food spiked with marijuana or something? I saw that happen on TV, but it was at McDonalds and the people who got the marijuana burgers were cops heh heh heh…WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? FOCUS!_

***Omoi kasane yume o kasane hibi o kasane**

**ase no mamire namida korae chi o tagi rase.**

_Oh great. Now there are swirls of orange, blue, pink, and green flying around. Just great. Guess I might as well sing along._

**Tatakau koto moaishi au koto mo**

**haruka hikari no, on the Way.**

**Ura kitte kitashin ji nagara**

_Tatakau koto moaishi au koto mo_

_haruka hikari no, on the Way._

_Ura kitte kitashin ji nagara_

**kitsuke te kita**

**inori nagara. Dare no koto de naku**

**dare no sei de naku oretachi ima wo.**

_kitsuke te kita- woah WOAH why am I falling faster?_

**Itami hodoki kokoro hodoki**

**kage o hodoki.**

_WHY IS THERE A BRIGHT LIGHT DOWN THERE?_

**Iki o tsunete hashiri nukero**

**yami o saite kana shimu kotomo**

**yume o miru koto mo owari wa shinai**

**on the way.**

_HOLY CHEESE AND CRACKERS I'M GONNA DIE!_

**I wanna rocks**

**mune ni Rocks!**

_AAAaaahhhhhhhhhhh! D8_

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"Oof!" I landed on top of a bed in some apartment. I started to freak out. WHERE AM I? HOW THE HECK DID THIS HAPPEN? Okay this definitely isn't the effect of being high. I mean I never did drugs or smoked stuff before, but I'm pretty sure this doesn't happen…or does it? I got off the bed, a little dizzy due to my confusion I walk out onto the balcony and look at my surroundings…SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!

There was a village that was like Konoha in the Naruto series. The hokage monument, the hokage tower, the academy, even that ramen stand, Ichiraku.

I start screaming.

"Oh chiz! What's going on how the heck did I end up in konoha! KONOHA! The fictional ninja land of my absolute favorite manga! My god I'm so confused! SOMEBODY HEL-OW!"

…and now books are falling from sky.

I pick up the book, walk back into the apartment and sit on the bed. The title read: '_The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7'_ …

?

Woah! Hold the phone, back up, rewind! A BOOK. FELL FROM THE SKY. WHICH IS A GUIDE ABOUT ME. BEING A NINJA. ON TEAM 7.

…

Meh. Might as well read it. This is like, the ultimate narutard fantasy.

(the text of the book is underlined)

Do NOT let any Naruto character find and/or read this book or Ren Roax will no longer exist.

…Good to know.

The Roax clan

The Roax clan's kekegenkai is literally in their blood. Every man or woman that belongs to the Roax clan has the blood that can cure any illness and heal any wound.

So…my blood is made out of advil? I skim down a few pages.

Members of the Roax clan live in villages throughout the nations and with in those nations are shrines that withhold their clan weapon.

Each weapon is encased in holy stone which is nearly impossible to brake.

Ren will find her family shrine and achieve her weapon, which is the Yami sword, Ren has two chakra types water and dark/shadow. Her dark chakra is rare and only she possesses it, it has yet to be awakened but when it is Ren Roax will not be able to control it without the Yami sword which is like a suppressant.

That's just freaking awesome.

during the chunnin exam. After the forest of death, before the third round of the exam is when Ren will retrieve her sword.

Damn this is going to be hard.

Skimming.

All female members' eyes change color to their mood.

…well that's different, my eyeballs are mood rings. Is there even a list of colors and moods? It'll be really dumb if it doesn-Oh here it is on the next page.

Colors and Moods

Ebony/Onyx- Serious, Hurt, Down/Dread, Hatred

Yellow- happy, overjoyed, accepted

Gold- mischievious, sneaky

Red- furious, angry, irritated, aggravated, murderous

Yellowish lime green- disgust

Pink- embarrassed

Light blue- calm, collected, cool

Dark blue- sad, depressed, lonely, heartbroken

Green- nervous, envious

Opal- lost, confused, afraid

Orange- hyper, energetic, excited

Silver- bored, indifferent, uncaring, tired

Pale yellow- dumbfounded

Purple- in love, enchanted, aroused

Cool…note to self if eyes turn pink or purple and I'm around people run away…far away

Ren's family

Ren's parents were talented shinobi of the village, but due to this they continuously left Ren alone to accomplish missions and rarely had time for her, but they loved her all the same.

Awww.

Sadly both Ren's mother and father were assassinated, their corpses and assassinator being found by Ren. She never got to see the assassin's face.

…Son of a biscuit eating bulldog. In my world my parents were killed in a fire and here they're assassinated. God must hate me. I wipe the tears that ran down my face.

"Stop being such a cry baby…crying won't bring them back." I tell myself. The area around my eyes start to feel cold. I look into a mirror I found.

My irises are dark blue.

I walk back to the bed and open the book again. Okay read this last section then I'm done.

Konohagakure.

Everything will be in Japanese culture such as food and honorifics, but they will speak and read in English.

Please oh PLEASE make Naruto say dattebayo and not believe it!

I close the book I'm done for now.

GROWL!

I'm hungry.

I walk into the kitchen, which was a very nice kitchen and open the fridge. I smile like a mad man.

"MY FROSTY!"

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TBC

REVIEW

NO FLAMING

Next time: Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura. Friends or Foes?

AN- if you are wonder why she is in the Naruto universe everything will be revealed within chapters


	2. Chapter 2

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

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I…am…exhausted.

I woke up early this morning to go train, it was AWESOME being able to run super-fast and perform a few jutsus, but it takes up a lot of energy…well time for me to go to the academy.

I grab my headband and put it on. I put my camera in my blouse. I know what's going to happen today. Heh heh heh.

I close the apartment door behind me.

Alright here goes nothing.

Finally at the academy! I'm ashamed to say I got lost a few times.

I look around the class room and see-OMG NARUTO! LET ME HUG YOU!

I walk toward Naruto and smile. He looks up and grins.

"Hi! You mind if I sit next to you." I asked politely.

"Sure!" he shouts.

We started chatting until I heard the screeching of banshees.

""GOAL!""

I turn around slowly and see the two characters I hate the most. Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura.

Ugh. =_=""

"Great. The pink and blonde banshees are here. How lovely."

A few people laughed. Yay, I made a joke.

I look over at Naruto. He has hearts in his eyes, jeez what does he see in her? He doesn't even like her, it's just attraction!

"Naruto…why do you like Sakura?" I asked

"Because she's a babe!" Naruto stated loudly.

Ew.

"That…is a horrible reason to like somebody. Isn't that just attraction?" I told him, trying to convince him not to like Sakura anymore. He'll only suffer if he does.

"You just don't understand, Ren." Naruto said then continued to stare hearts at Sakura.

I sigh and look over at the person sitting by the window. Uchiha Sasuke. I'm willing to admit to myself that he is smexy but he sucks as a person. And his sitting position is weird. He's staring into nothingness with his face against his hands.

"Psst! Hey!" I whisper to get his attention. Which I got but he barely showed it.

"Why are you sitting like that are you trying to stalk someone? Or are you just thinking way too hard about something stupid…like porn?"

He did one of those anime drops that look like gravity is forcing him down to the ground face first…it was funny, to bad nobody else saw it.

"Are you retarded?" he asked rudely

"No. why does the back of your head look like a bird butt."

"You…"

There was anger and annoyance in his eyes but I could tell he was slightly enjoying our insult fest, I know I was.

'_Well, she's definitely not like the other girls in this class.' _Sasuke thought to himself.

"Excuse me, may I pass?"

Naruto and I turn toward the voice. Ugh. It was the pink fan girl, Sakura. I hate her so much! I remember in those little extras at the end of a shippuden episode she complained that she should have more fans or that the ending songs should be more about her because she is the heroine.

Fuck off bitch. This manga already has a hero, and you ain't no heroine.

Naruto blushed and grinned cheekily. _'No way. She wants to sit next to me."_

"She doesn't want to sit next to you." I mumble.

"Huh?"

NARUTO, MOVE IT! I'M TRYING TO GET AROUND YOU! Sakura screamed angrily

"Oh…"

I sneer at her. She didn't have to yell or say it so rudely.

"You want something?" Sasuke asked Naruto since he was staring at him.

"what's that supposed to mean? Are you talkin' to me?" Naruto shouted.

"Naruto…you were staring at him so of course he's going to ask you that." I sighed as I saw him blush angrily realizing that it was a complete legit question.

"Good morning Sasuke-kun! Is this seat taken…? 3" she shouted as she trampled over Naruto…and PUSHED ME OUT OF MY SEAT!

I got up from the floor and glared bloody murder at her. I'll kill her. I swear on my name I will.

"R-Ren why are your eyes red?" Naruto asked slightly scared.

"It's part of my linage. My eye color changes according to my emotions." I said sighing.

"So…its like your eye balls are mood rings?"

"That's what I said."

"Ha ha ha! Your eyes turn color to your mood? That's so lame, right Sasuke-kun?"

"Go die you pink banshee." I mumble.

The four of us are sitting on one bench. Wait, I thought these benches could only fit three people at a time…oh well.

Naruto keeps growling.

Sakura is acting all creepy and stalker-ish toward Sasuke

And Sasuke is staring into nothingness…again.

~TODAY'S THE DAY SASUKE WILL BE MINE! THE MISSION GOAL—FIRST KISS! CHA!~

INNER SAKURA screamed

I sighed as I saw hearts in Sakura's eyes. Stupid annoying fan girl.

…

OH MY GOD! THE SASUNARU MOMENT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

I quickly take out my camera from my blouse and get in the take-a-picture pose.

Okay…

"Naruto, you jerk!"

"Leave Sasuke-kun alone!"

"Get Lost!"

"Hmf!"

"HIT HIM, SASUKE…"

Aaaaand…

"Hunh?"

"Oops."

"Oh sorry!"

"um…um…"

CLICK

FLASH!

I GOT THE PICTURE! I put the camera away. Man, the girls back home (sasunaru fans on DA and fanfiction) will never believe this!

"YAAAAAAAH!" Sakura screamed.

"NARUTO YOU PIECE OF CRAP, YOU ARE DEAD!" Sasuke yelled while gagging.

"POISON! MY MOUTH IS RUINED! Naruto screamed choking.

Sakura trembled in furry as I laughed my butt off. "Shut up, Ren…" Sasuke whispered to me. I smiled wicked feeling my eyes turning gold.

"Make me SasGAY!" I know its cliché but I refuse to call him SasuUKE, he may be a jerk but he's no uke.

He glared at me. "Ren…I'm going to-"

"Naruto …you make me sick." Sakura sneers as she cracks her knuckles.

Right before she lands a punch on his face I caught her fist, my eyes turning red again. Seriously, why does she think she has the right to beat him up?

"For the love of apple pie, it was obviously an accident. If you wanna blame someone blame that guy." I say pointing to the guy who bumped into Naruto. He flinched back. Obviously, he was gonna remain quiet while Naruto got beat up.

"But aside from that, You know Sakura you should get out of that dress and cut your ugly as sin hair before people start thinking you're a girl. I mean monstrous strength and horrible temper can only belong to some disgustingly obnoxious boy…right?"

"YOU! How dare you? Sasuke-kun did you hear what she said?"

Why are you bringing him into the conversation? Sasuke ignored her. She looked back at me, she was about to say something but I cut her off.

"Back off you pink piece of crap before I make you eat your own hair."

She huffs and turns her attention back to Sasuke as if the conversation never happened.

This is going to be a long day.

Iruka explained that whole congrats speech and that we'll be in a three-man-cell except for one group that will have four.

'_A three or four man cell? Sounds like two/three too many…' _Sasuke thought

'It's perfect! I know they'll team me up with Sasuke-kun!' Sakura thought

'So long as I'm partnered with Sakura…I'll take anybody else…except Sasuke!' Naruto thought

'I wonder where I can get some good chocolate flavored taiyaki around here…I always wanted to eat one, but I live in America…' I (Ren) thought

"Team seven…Haruno Sakura

"Uzumaki Naruto…" Naruto cheered as Sakura bowed her head in sorrow.

"Uchiha Sasuke…" Sakura cheered as Naruto bowed his head in sorrow.

"And Roax Ren."Sasuke remained indifferent, Sakura glared at me, and Naruto smiled at me. Well at least one person is happy to be on my team.

"Hmph, isn't Ren a boy's name?" Sakura said in a snooty voice. Okay so Ren may be a boy's name, My parents loved Japanese culture they just didn't notice the gender preference of the name. But I like it. Its unique.

Besides Water Lilies are so much better than cherry blossoms. Except during the sakura festival in Philidelphia! That is freaking awesome.

"Isn't pink your real hair color or did you dye it to match your name like a bitch?" If you haven't noticed I REALLY don't like Sakura.

We snap out of our little argument once we hear:

"Hmm…just don't drag me down…Dunce!"

"Why You-!"

Dunce? What are you? Six? That's the best insult you could come up with? Jeez…

"What you call me?"

"KNOCK IT OFF, NARUTO!" Sakura screeched while hitting the blonde.

I sigh again. Well this will definitely be fun.

~At lunch~

YUMMY TAIYAKI!

Hmmm…Oh this is that whole Naruto ties up Sasuke, Naruto dresses up as Sasuke, Naruto meets Sakura, Naruto gets the runs then blah blah blah.

I finish my taiyaki and walk around to find the rest of my team- oh look! Sakura and Naruto(as Sasuke)

Sakura blushes as 'Sasuke' smiles at her. 'Sasuke- He's looking at me! With bedroom eyes!'

Ew. This is the part where Naruto 'finally starts to understand what he loves about Sakura' I'm sorry but that boy's an idiot. She insults him brutally unknowingly to his face and he likes her more for why she likes cough obsesses over cough Sasuke. I'm leaving. Might as well help the emo-bunny.

~At the room ~

Cool! Onigiries! I took one and started nibbling on it.

"Uhn!" There he is.

'Supid Naruto! Used his shinobi illusions to pass as me!...What's he up to?' the Raven thought.

He finally notices that I'm in the room.

"Yo! What goes on, Emo-Bunny?"

He gave me a look. I rolled my eyes. "Need Help?"

A second later he escaped the ropes. "No."

"Mmkay…" I turn around ready to leave until.

"Do you know what Naruto is up to?"

"Uuuuuuuuuum…no?"

"Ren."

"Oh look! There's a freckle on my wrist! I should show…that guy…from that time…that is somewhere that isn't here, LATER SASUKE!"

"REN!"

I ran away laughing until I found myself where Sakura is…YAY! SASUKE BASHING SAKURA!

Okay let's watch.

"Sasuke my sweet old fashioned boy! 3 did you summon your nerve? I'm right here ready and waiting!" Sakura squealed.

"Recess is over. Where's that jerk, Naruto?" Sasuke growled.

"Your changing the subject again! Can't we get away from Naruto for just a second? He always comes in between us! Him and That Ren! It's because they were badly brought up! Sakura stated with an irritated smile.

Sasuke stopped walking away and turned to her. "You mean…because they don't have parents?"

"They don't have to answer to anyone, ever and it's made them completely selfish! If I did the kinds of things they did the kinds of things they get away with, my parents would ground me for life! Don't you envy them being alone, not having parents nag you all the time? Kids without families always grow up selfish." The pink haired girl stated in a particularly aggravating tone.

"That, and lonely." Sasuke added.

"What?" Sakura was completely caught off guard by her crush's statement.

"Being scolded by your folks doesn't even compare!" The Uchiha stated, not even looking at his new teammate.

"…Wha…What's gotten into you all of a sudden?" Sakura stuttered. What was happening? Why was he so mad?

"You…make me sick!" And he left.

…I hate her. I Hate Her. I HATE HER! SHE DOESN'T AND REFUSES TO UNDERSTAND! I HATE HER SO MUCH! And further more! Doesn't she know that Sasuke's entire family is dead?! Isn't she supposed to be in love with him or something?! SO INCONSIDERATE!

Okay, breathe Ren Breathe…Okay I'm better. Lunch is over, time to meet our instructor…even though he's going to be late…sigh…an emo avenger brat, a knuckle head with ADHD, an insane and selfish pink fan girl banshee and me a blunt and witty tomboy…

Hatake Kakashi I wish you the best of luck.

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TBC

REVIEW

NO FLAMING

Next Time: Hatake Kakashi


	3. Chapter 3

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

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"He's late!" Naruto said looking out of the door.

Why was there a lovers under the umbrella thingy written on the door? What are the names?

"Cut it out, Naruto!" Sakura said.

Man can't she shut up? Didn't she say at the end of the last chapter that she should be a little nicer to Naruto…and she DOESN'T?...Why is Kakashi always late? I swear if he's staring at that memorial I'll kick his butt.

"Why are we the only cell…whose sensei hasn't shown up yet? I'm ready to roll-!" Naruto said.

No Naruto. Don't say it…PLEASE DON'T SAY-

"-Believe it!"

NOOOOOOOOOOO! I slam my face into the desk. Its dettebayo gosh darn it! I begin to give a soft sob. Sasuke stares at me as if I've lost my mind.

"The other groups have already met their new teachers and took off on some adventure or something. Iruka-sensei isn't here either."

Naruto suddenly started making a lot of noise making and Sakura screeched: "Hey! What are you up to, Naruto?"

Sasuke and I look up to see what's going on. I sigh. "Sakura was it REALLY necessary to yell?"

Sakura walked up to Naruto who was standing on a stool putting an eraser in between the door and the wall; he was laughing insanely. Oh you cheaky dick-waffle.

"That's what he gets for being late!" Naruto said hopping off the stool.

"Grow up! I want no part of it!" Sakura putting her hands on her hips.

INNER SAKURA: STUFF LIKE THIS IS THE BEST! CHA!

"Oh please you inwardly enjoy stuff like this." I said and chuckle as I see her tense. "five ryo saying that our new sensei falls for it!"

Sasuke and Sakura place five ryo on the desk betting against. I place five ryo betting for it.

"Hn. You both are idiots, no way could a superior shinobi be caught by such a simple booby trap! Do you honestly think he will fall for that?" Sasuke asks.

"Hn!" I say back smirking. He looks back at me determination in his eyes as he sees mine turn gold. Sakura glares at me as she sees how casual we are with each other.

Oh, get over yourself you stupid little-

Suddenly the door started opening, we were all looking at the door waiting. Kakashi head popped into the door and the eraser dropped on his head and then fell to the floor. Naruto started laughing his head off! "I got him! He totally fell for it!" he laughed.

"Tha~nk You!" I said in a sing song voice as I take his and Sakura's money, making Sasuke grumble.

"I'm sorry, sensei. I tried to stop him, but Naruto…"

INNER SAKURA: SET HIM UP AND SHOOT HIM DOWN! THAT WAS AWESOME!

'So this is our elite shinobi leader? He looks completely worthless!' Sasuke thought.

We all stared at Kakashi as he picked up the eraser.

"Hmm... How can I put this?" Kakashi asked himself while rubbing his chin. "My first impression of this group... you're a bunch of idiots."

"And you're a lazy bum who reads porno in front of children!" I said frowning.

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura all look at me dumbfounded. I nodded.

"MmHmm!" I hummed nodding. You're your move, teacher man.

Kakashi decided to ignore me.

"Now I'd like you all to tell me a little about yourselves?" Kakashi asked. We were all finally outside, Kakashi was in front of us and we were sitting down.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Things you like, things you hate... dreams for the future... hobbies, things like that," Kakashi answered.

"He-" I slap my hand over Naruto's mouth. I know in a lot of fan fics Sakura says the most obvious and stupidest question ever: 'Why don't you go first. Show us how we do it.' (How hard is it to answer such easy questions?) but it's really Naruto who says it.

"You tell us first Kakashi, we don't know you at all and we would be horrible shinobi if we were to give out our information to some stranger." I reason. Yup, I am smooth.

"That's right…after all you're a complete stranger to us…a mystery." Sakura unnecessarily added.

"…uh, didn't I just say that?" I ask. Sasuke grunted as Naruto shrugged.

"Me, I'm Hatake Kakashi... I'm the kind of person who doesn't feel like talking about the things he likes and dislikes," he said making my eyes turn silver. "My dreams for the future... never really thought about it, as for my hobbies... I have lots of hobbies."

"Hey…he said a lot…but all we really learned was his name," Sakura muttered, Naruto nodded in agreement.

"gee Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Sakura…" I mutter back making Sasuke snicker lightly behind his hands and Naruto shift a little.

"OK, your turn... you on the right!" Kakashi said, I guess he was talking about Naruto since Sakura's on the left and Sasuke was in the middle and I'm sitting lazily in front of him.

"Believe it!( my eye twitches) I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like instant Ramen in a cup and I like the Ramen Iruka-sensai got me at the noodle shop. But I hate the three minutes you have to wait after you pour the water in the ramen cup!" Naruto started. "My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them. And my future,

'He appears to have nothing more on his mind than ramen.' Kakashi thought before.

"dream is to be the greatest Hokage, then the village will stop disrespecting me and start treating me like I'm somebody; somebody important!"

I smirk. I must say that I love his determination…but what's with him fiddling with his headband? Weird…

'Well hasn't he turned out interesting…' Kakashi thought.

"Alright next? The first pink young lady" Kakashi said looking at Sakura.

Ha! If she's a lady I'm Chebi Chase.

"My name is Haruno Sakura! What I like, I mean the person I like is*blushes and looks at Sasuke* My hobby is...*looks at Sasuke, again* My dream for the future is..*fangirl squeel*

"And. What do you hate?" Kakashi drawled out getting irritated, Sasuke blushing slightly in humiliation, Naruto looking frustrated and envious and me…I'm just pissed of. When she said her hobbies and then looks at Sasuke does that mean she stalks him? Freaky.

"I hate Naruto and Ren!" She screeched.

"Ahhhhh!" Naruto yelled.

"Well fine I didn't like you anyway." I answer back. And don't you hate anything else? You don't HAVE to insult us you know.

Kakashi sighs. 'Its sounds as though young girls…are more interested in love than ninjutsu.'

"Alright next."

I was about to ask who, but Sasuke started.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke... I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan, and kill …a certain someone."

'He is so cool! 3" Sakura praised.

'Sure hope it's not me…" Naruto thought.

'I suspected as much…" Kakashi thought.

…I really need to make him reconsider this revenge thing he's going to regret it…alot. Wait! But then all the good fanfics will be gone won't they?

"Hmph emo-bunny, you forgot to name your hobbies." I mutter.

Sasuke glares at me but I ignore it.

"And finally you the young lady in the pony-tail." Kakashi finally says to me.

"Okay, I'm Roax Ren. I like playing the piano, singing, reading manga, taking walks, learning things out of the ordinary, sleeping, training, screwing with people's heads, making bets and eating different foods. I dislike people yelling unnecessarily, fangirls, people stating out the obvious, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Hobbies same as things I like. And my dream…"

I make a dramatic pause thinking about my parents assassin. I notice that everyone is staring at me waiting anxiously for me to answer. I suddenly cross my legs and arms.

"Is absolutely NONE of your business."

Sakura and Naruto face drop, Kakashi sweat drops and Sasuke has an angry vain on his head. I giggle.

"Like I said I like screwing with people's heads."

…I think I'm the only one of these guys who actually does this introduction right. You know, doesn't squeal, giggle, ramble about ramen, or tip toes around questions.

"What's a piano?"

"…forget it."

"Alright well, tomorrow our training will begin."

"What kinda mission are we going to have?" Naruto asked.

"It's a task the four of us will do together," Kakashi answered.

"What, what, what, what?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Survival training," he answered.

"Survival training?" Naruto repeated.

"Yeah sure a survival mission," I said smirking knowingly as the other genin look at me wondering why I said that sarcastically. Heh if only they knew.

"This isn't like your previous training, though," Kakashi said.

"What kinda training is it then?" Naruto asked. Kakashi and I started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Sakura asked not knowing I already knew why.

"Well, if I tell you the answer, you're not going to like it," Kakashi said and then laughed again. "Of the 28 graduates that came here, only nine will actually be excepted as genin, the other 18 will be weeded out and sent back to the academy."

"So in other words... if we fail this we have to start all over again?" I asked acting gullible.

"Yes, and the chance of failing is at least 66 percent," Kakashi said making Naruto face fault! Hilarious! "See, didn't I tell you that you wouldn't like it?"

"Are you a sadist?" I ask…but I was ignored.

"That's crazy! We worked hard to get here, believe it!" Naruto shouted as my eye twitched again at the forsaken words. "What was that graduation test for anyway?"

"Oh that, that was just to select candidates who might become genin," Kakashi said. "Or not!"

Uh-huh yeah sure…not.

"Whaaat?" Naruto shouted.

"That's how it is," Kakashi continued. "I decide whether you pass or fail, be at training spot at 5 a.m. and bring your ninja gear."

"Easy…" I mutter so no one can hear me, my eyes still silver.

"That's it, you're dismissed... oh, you might want to skip breakfast tomorrow or else... you'll puke," Kakashi said then disappeared. Another lie

"Eat a good breakfast tomorrow and show up at seven" I say before departing.

The Next Day

Its 6:59 and I see Sasuke Naruto and Sakura looking tired and hungry with huge backpacks as I have what I had yesterday. They didn't listen to me. I glared at them.

"Idiots."

"Morning class!" Kakashi greeted.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto AND Sakura shouted. Then they looked at me wondering how I knew that he'd be late.

"Well, a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the long way," Kakashi said.

"Boo" I said giving him a thumbs down.

"Well, let's get started," Kakashi said. "Here we go," he pulled out a timer. "It's set for noon. Your assignment is very simple, you have to take these bells from me... that's all there is to it."

"Yeah, he makes it sound easy," I thought.

"If you can't get them by noon you go without lunch," Kakashi explained.

"Waaaaah?" Naruto said.

"I'll tie you to the stump and eat right in front of you!" Kakashi said. SADIST.

"That's why he told us not to eat." I explained when I heard they're stomachs growling.

"And how come there's only two bells when they're four of us?" Naruto asked making Kakashi chuckle.

"You only need one bell and since there are two bells only, two of you will definitely fail, those two will go back to the academy. But then again, all four of you could fail too. You can use your shurikens too. If you don't come at me with the intent to kill me you won't get the bells."

"Fine, let's go!" I said fully prepared to do this.

"But you will be in danger sensei!" Sakura shouted.

Especially since you couldn't dodge an eraser!" Naruto said. Oh, he's definitely gonna get it.

"Only the weak speak loudly. Now let's forget the dunce and we'll start on my signal," Kakashi said.

Again with the dunce insult? Does no one have a creative imagination for insults?

"When I say start you may begin," Kakashi said. Naruto suddenly looked agitated due to the insult. He charged at Kakashi with a kunai and within a flash, Kakashi was behind Naruto with the kunai pointing to the back of Narutos head, a cloud of dust nearly hiding them from view. "Slow down," said Kakashi calmly. "I didn't say start yet."

"Whoa! I didn't even see that!" Sakura thought.

'So this is an elite shinobi…" Sasuke thought.

Sasuke took a step back as Kakashi let go of Naruto. "Well it seems you are ready to come at me with an intent to kill. It seems like I'm beginning to like you guys," Kakashi said softly. Sasuke and I smirk while Naruto grins and Sakura looks unsure.

"And now…Ready...Steady…GO!"

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TBC

REVIEW

NO FLAMING

Next time: pride goeth before a fall


	4. Chapter 4

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

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Sasuke was hiding in a tree. Sakura was hiding beneath some bushes.

'Good. They have all hidden well.' Kakashi thought as he rubbed his neck, looking around, but never turning.

"Okay, it's you and me right now! FIGHT ME!" Naruto yelled getting Kakashi's attention.

"Umm…you're a bit off…" Kakashi sweatdropped.

'What a moron…' Sasuke thought watching the scene.

I sighed. I was standing behind kakashi a few yards away. "Naruto, you really need to practice self control and anger management. We could have attempted a surprise attack and get the bells…but its too late now…"

"Ren, you're actually going to fight me? I thought you would just watch, bored." Kakashi asked fully ignoring Naruto making him growl.

"I SAID FIGHT ME!" We both ignored him for the moment.

"Well duh. Naruto is my team mate. If he's going to do something stupid (Naruto: HEY!) and NONE OF HIS OTHER TEAM MATES WILL HELP HIM!-" I yelled making sure that Sakura and Sasuke could hear me. "I will help him to make sure he succeeds and doesn't die. If I don't what's the point of being on a team in the first place? Duh."

Kakashi's eyes…er…eye widens slightly then smirks underneath his mask.

'So…she understands what this test is really about.'

Naruto growled loudly, despising being ignored.

"THE ONLY THING A BIT OFF IS YOUR HAIR CUT!"

Huh? Oh yeah! Kakashi told him he was a bit off…now I feel bad, I totally disregarded Naruto…

Naruto suddenly charged at Kakashi again. I saw Kakashi go for something making Naruto stop and glared. "Ninja battle techniques part one, taijutsu." I heard Kakashi say.

_"Taijutsu: hand to hand combat…god this is boring" _I thought. Kakashi then pulled out a book, Icha Icha Paradise...I hate that damn book. "What the...?" I heard Naruto say.

I sighed again. "Told you he was a lazy bum who reads porno in front of children."

"What are you waiting for?" Kakashi asked. "Make your move."

"But, why are you reading that book?" Naruto asked.

"Why...? To find out what happens next in the story, of course," Kakashi said with his eyes on the book. "Don't worry about it, with your weak attacks I could read or do whatever..."

"I'M GOING TO CRUSH YOU!" Naruto yelled charging at Kakashi.

"Naruto Stop! Just listen to me!" I called out. Your Anger is a weapon that your opponent can use against you. A quote of mine and it couldn't be anymore true.

Naruto continued to throw random hits at Kakashi, but the sensei dodged every attack without looking up from his book.

Suddenly Kakashi was behind Naruto after throwing a punch.

"What the?"

"Showing your back so many times is poor taijutsu…Dunce." Kakashi said as he held his hands in the sign of the tiger. Sasuke and Sakura notice this too.

…Seriously? Again with the Dunce thing jeez…

OH CRAP! This is that that butt rape thingy! RIGHT?

"NARUTO GET AWAY FROM HIM! OR ELSE!" I screamed as I run to them.

"NARUTO! GET OUT OF THERE! YOU'LL BE KILLED!" Sakura yells from the bushes.

…I just said that and really? She's just gonna stay hidden and yell instead of help him?

"Too late!" Kakashi said in a sing song voice; I thought that was weird. "Hidden Leaf most secret and most sacred Technique! A thousand years of death!"

Aaaaand cue butt rape!

Naruto flew in the air screaming with the stupidest expression on his face and then he fell in the water.

'…They're both idiots.' Sasuke thought

'Was that really ninjutsu? Looked like he just stuck something up Naruto's butt.' Sakura sweat droped.

I just started cracking up, I could_ not _stop! I was just so damn funny! I even fell to the ground because I was laughing so hard and that never happens! This was a Narutard's dream come true!

I started to calm down after a while; I could feel Kakashi's eyes on me. "You really shouldn't laugh at a teammate's expense, Ren," Kakashi said scolding me.

"I'm sorry but, that was hilarious, but you really shouldn't butt rape a student" I said standing up grinning. A tree, a bush, and a sensei sweat drop.

Don't deny it. You know what I said was funny.

I take a deep breath and charge at Kakashi. He looked surprised by my speed. I knock the book out of his hands, jump up over him holding his hands with my legs and feet over his head. I elbow him in the back and smirk when I hear a very small grunt of pain. I hear the sound of shuriken wizzing through the air, aiming for Kakashi.

Kakashi: 'What?'

Sasuke: 'how did she know that that would be Naruto's move?

Sakura: 'Hmph! Just a coincidence.'

I reached over to where the bells were on the grey-haired man's belt and grabbed them. BUT! Kakashi was able to get his hands free and gripped my wrist then twisted it.

"UGH!" I scream. That hurt like HELL!

My hand pried open then he threw me across the field. Luckily for me, I landed on my feet, but Kakashi caught the shuriken between his fingers and picked up his book again.

I heard gurgling from the water. Naruto must be fustrated. I look over my wrist. Good. It's only dislocated.

I bend down stepping on my hand lightly then jerked up with force.

SNAP! CRACK!

Sakura winced at the agonizing sound while Sasuke had to admit to himself that the brunette was pretty good at enduring pain, that would be very useful in battle.

Damn. That hurt but I feel better now…UGH I almost had the bells! But that cheater of a jounin played dirty! But this is the ninja world there are no rules. Wait yes there are…but…ugh my head hurts.

I realized that I zoned out for a bit and there were a bunch of Naruto clones, one caught Kakashi from behind with a smug grin on his face.

I'll admit that's impressive, but don't get so cocky Naruto, this test isn't on individual skills.

Its on team-work. Jeez I sound so cliché like when a character is thinking and the watcher hears them think and when they think of some great answer to the situation they get a dramatic close up.

Naruto punched one of his clones in the face where Kakashi once stood.

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TBC

REVIEW

NO FLAMING

Next time: Not Sasuke-kun!


	5. Chapter 5

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

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Awww Poor Naruto.

"Naruto! Undo the jutsu! He used the art substitution, he's gone." I yelled to the blonde.

He screamed in frustration until he noticed there was a bell on the ground.

"A BELL! Hee-hee-hee he must have been pretty flustered…to drop one…" Naruto giggled.

Oh Shoot!

"Naruto Don't! IT'S A TRAP!" I screamed, but it was too late.

Next thing we all knew Naruto was hanging from the tree by his feet.

'_Of course it was a trap. That idiot lucked out since Ren is so determined to __help__ him, god knows why though.'_ Sasuke thought as he continued to watch.

'_Naruto you useless idiot! Why did you have to be on my and Sasuke-kun's team?'_ Sakura scolded mentally.

"Naruto you want some help?" I asked.

He lightly glared at me. " No I don't need your help or any one else's! I can do everything on my own! Believe It!"

I glared back at him. I didn't need this from him! The dude who is losing his title as the main character to Sasuke and some akatsuki people because of his blind obsession to get Sasuke back and how much of a pansy he's being.

"Fine! Whatever! I'll just go and become a boss character!" And I walk away. I watch Two Best Friends Play…a lot.

I know that was childish but…oh whatever I know what's going on right now even when I'm not there so-

"Kakashi I know you're there so there's no point in hiding." I mutter, my eyes turning a light blue.

He came out of the bushes. "Ah I see that your in a calm mood, good last thing I need is you being angry and charge at me like the dunce."

My eyes widened a bit. So he knew which colors mean what…interesting.

"I know the really meaning of this test." I state bluntly, I didn't really feel like chit chatting.

It was his turn for his eyes to widen. "Is that so?"

"I know that this test is really on team work, I mean really have you ever heard of a two-man-cell when coming out of the academy? No such thing. Even if two of us did get a bell we would all fail."

"you're that observant?" He asked.

"…Sure lets go with that…" I hesitated.

"Well I will admit that is impressive to figure out on your own, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't tell the others…"

I smirk, my eyes now gold. "Wasn't planning to. I'll work together with them, but I won't spoil them."

He smirked behind his mask and hit my head with his book.

"Don't be so cocky, it'll get you killed." Then disappeared.

I rubbed my head. Ow. That actually really hurt…douche.

~With Sakura~

Sakura continued to run through the trees and bushes, desperately searching for the one and only Uchiha Sasuk.

'…_Sasuke-kun…Where are you? Kakashi-sensei must have gotten him…NO I WON'T BELIEVE THAT! NOT SASUKE-KUN!'_

_Sakura stopped once she heard a rustle in some bushes. She saw that it was Kakashi._

'_Safe! He hasn't seen me…'_

"Sakura behind you!"

"What?"

She turned around and saw…the real Kakashi.

Shff shff shff Whsh whsh whsh

Sakura finally came to her senses and freaked out.

"WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT? WHERE'D OUR TEACHER GO?"

"sakura…" a voice came from the bushes. _'That sounds like…'_

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura squealed loudly.

But she was met with a bleeding Sasuke knelt to the floor with kunai and shuriken pierced in his body, with his left arm sliced off and his left leg twisted abnormally.

"…Sa…Saku…ra…H-Help…me…"

Tears fell down her face.

**YEEAAAAAAAAH!**

**Ren POV**

When I entered a clearing I look down to see an unconscious Sakura with her Fists to her chest, tears down her face, and foam in her mouth.

My eyes turn a yellowish lime green. Wow. Did she really want to become a ninja or did she just join the academy just to be near Sasuke?

I suddenly trip over her leg... how the heck did I do that? I'm not that clumsy am I? maybe since everyone in this episode has something stupid happen to them, this happened to me. Ow. My breast hurt from the fall…Meh I'll get over it.

I get up and continue to run until I found Sasuke.

"That scream…nah must have been Sakura, Ren's voice isn't really high."

Hey! You stupid emo bunny! That was a severe blow to my femininity…that's a word right?

"the second ninja skill: genjutsu the art of illusion."

Sasuke smirked. _'he may have beaten her but…'_

He then showed a cold and menacing look.

"I'm not like them."

"Quit your boastings until you've got a bell…Sasuke."

I giggle and sit myself on a branch to get a nice view.

"This is going to be fun to watch, Hope I don't fall out of this tree."

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: Kakashi's decision


	6. Chapter 6

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

Fun Facts on OC

Name: Ren Roax

Nick Name(s) : sweet little water lily(given by parents, Sasuke may use it occasionally) Ree-chan(given by author)

Apperance : silky soft dark brown hair, reaches mid-back. natural color eyes:blue with hints of grey and green.

Age : 12-13

Birthday : October 16

Height : 1/2 an inch shorter than Sakura

Weight : you don't need to know

Blood : AB

Voice : soft but not high(sounds like chikane, in both japanese and english, from Kannazuki no miko)

Favorite food : chocolate taiyaki, fruit, riceball, fast food

Least favorite food : Ramen, any kinds of noodles, spicy food

Weapon :Kage sword

Personality Traits : funny, random, cocky, considerate, sweet when she needs to be.

Talents : Singing, Healing, fast learner

Siblings : none

Profile : Unknown.

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Alright let's get this party started!

"The strength of the Uchiha clan…the most elite family in Konohagakure village…I'm looking forward to it…"

Aw no Kakashi, don't burst his ego. His heads already big enough.

Sasuke threw some shuriken, but Kakashi easily dodged them.

"A frontal assault is wasted here." Kakashi stated.

But Sasuke set a trap, but Kakashi figured it out. When the hell did he set a trap?

Thunk

Thunk

Thunk

Thunk

Thunk

…What the hell are those things? Since when did the ninjas use anything other than kunai and shuriken in the post time skip? They look like butter knives.

They started having hand to hand combat, which looks kind of funny 'cause Sasuke's doing all the attacking and twisting his body around and Kakashi's blocking…and Sasuke's like…half Kakashi's height.

Its like a some super scare crow fighting off a acrobat.

OH…aw…he almost got a bell…

"SASUKE~~! DON'T DIE…DON'T LEAVE ME! WHERE ARE YOU?"

That was Sakura. Seriously? Did she just scream for a person she thinks is dead and yell 'don't leave me.'? So cliché...

(Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu) FWOOOOOM!

…Jinkees.

After the fire and smoke was gone so was Kakashi. Sasuke looked around dumbfounded until-

"BELOW."

(Doton: Shinjū Zanshu no Jutsu)

"NOOOO!"

RRRUMBLE!

It took all my will power not to burst out laughing. IT WAS SO FUNNY!

Kakashi lectured him then left. Probably gonna go bust Naruto…meh might as well help Emo-bunny…AGAIN.

As I approached him Sakura passed me then froze at the sight of Sasuke…um…the sight of Sasuke's head.

"…"

"…"

"..?"

"EEEYAAGH! IT'S SASUKE'S HEAD…IT'S BEEN SEVERED!"

Then she fainted…again.

Sasuke and I both had a 'you're such an idiot' look on our faces. He then looked at me.

"What was that all about?"

"I don't know…you look like a ground hog."

"Shut up and help me."

"Fine Fine but now I have the biggest urge to play wack-a-mole."

"wa…wack a what?

"…nevermined."

After I dug him out we waited for Sakura to wake up. I poked her with a stick until Sasuke took it away. Meanie.

"SASUKE YOU'RE ALIVE! She glomped him.

My eye twitched. I hate SasuSaku moments. I began to zone out not wanting to listen to Sakura and Sasuke's rambling until.

"My goal is to have my revenge. I have to become stronger than he is…now."

"What do you gain from doing that?"

Sasuke and Sakura turn to look at me.

"I mean…its not like getting revenge will make everything better like it never happened. You'll just feel empty in the end…unsatisfied."

Sasuke glared. "What the hell do you know? You're just running your mouth-"

"I know a lot more than you! I understand the pain and loneliness…I understand the crave for revenge…but..."

Sasuke stared at me, shocked while Sakura stared at us in confusion and frustration.

BRIIIIINNG!

That was the bell. Game Over.

Ten minutes later

As we (Sakura, Sasuke, and I) Got to the three wooden posts we saw Naruto tied up to one and Kakashi waiting for us. Tsk. He REALLY needs to learn self control. We than sat down in front of the wooden posts to hear what Kakashi had to say.

"I have an announcement about this exercise. None of you …need to worry any more about being sent back to the ninja academy."

!

Yeah!" Naruto cheered.

"Really? All I did was faint and fall over. Do you get points for that?" Sakura blurted out like a moron.

INNER SAKURA: LOVES WINS OUT! CHA CHA CHA!

Sasuke smirked. "Hn."

"This rocks! It means all four of us…" Naruto screamed as he and Sakura did a happy dance.

I sneered at their annoying ignorance. "Do you three really think…we passed with that pathetic excuse of a display of a ninja team?"

They all looked at me. Kakashi finished Naruto's sentence.

"…Are hopeless. More schooling would be pointless. NONE OF YOU WILL EVER BE SHINOBI!"

Sakura and Naruto looked mortified, Sasuke grimaced angrily and I stared at the ground, ashamed.

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: YOU FAIL!


	7. Chapter 7

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

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"Wha! Drop us from the program! That means we can never become ninjas! You can't just change the rules, why would you do that!" Naruto shouted.

"Because you guys don't think like ninjas you think like brats!" Kakashi stated.

Okay I did not act like a brat. That's just mean to me.

Sasuke than got so mad to the point he got up and charged at Kakashi. Kakashi easily pinned Sasuke to the ground and sat on him. Ew. Sasuke has his teacher's butt on his back.

"You think its all about you huh?" Kakashi muttered to him.

"Don't step on Sasuke-kun! GET OFF OF HIM!" Sakura yelled with angry tears in her eyes

"Why do you think we put you guys in squads of 3? In this case, squads of 4!" Kakashi asked frustrated.

Sakura "uhh?"-ed

Kakashi sighed. "Its so simple. Ren was the only one who figured it out, please tell them."

Gee thanks Kakashi, make me look like the bad guy for not telling them.

"Teamwork. We need everyone's strength. Mine, Sasuke's, Naruto's…And even…Sakura's" Bleh. I feel like puking.

"Just working together? Naruto questioned dumbly.

"Yes. That was it. Naruto! You do everything on your own, EVERYTHING! You didn't even accept the help of a teammate when you obviously needed it. Ren! If you took this exercise more seriously I would have passed you! Sakura! You were so obsessed with Sasuke who was gone when Naruto needed help and you didn't lift a finger to help him! And you Sasuke thought the others were so far beneath you that they were worthless. Ninja missions are carried out in squads of course you need individual skills but teamwork is the most important one. If teamwork is not used is can lead to death. For example."

Kakashi takes out a kunai and places near Sasuke's neck.

"Sakura! Kill Naruto now or Sasuke dies!" Kakashi threatened

We all got scared for a second. Shoot, we all knew Sakura would kill Naruto for Sasuke without hesitation.

Kakashi continued to speak "That's what happens during a mission. The enemy takes a hostage and you got an impossible choice. And someone ends up dead.

Sakura sighs. "That was close...Sasuke-kun."

Naruto laughed shakily. "Yea. I thought I was gonna die for a second."

Kakashi than gets off Sasuke. Sasuke than walks over to us and sits next to me.

'_Why won't Sasuke-kun ever sit next to me...' _Sakura inwardly whined.

"Since Naruto and Ren worked together, I'll give you all another chance to get the last bell," Kakashi said turning to us. "But this time I'm going to make it harder on you. You will have three hours to get the bells. Eat lunch now to build up strength but, Naruto doesn't get any!" Naruto growled almost as loud as his stomach.

"It's your punishment for breaking the rules and trying to eat by yourself... and if any of you try to feed him, that person would automatically fail. I make the rules and you will follow them. Got it?"

Kakashi sure can be scary if he wants to! Man, I'm pretty sure I was sweating bullets by now. Creepy scarecrow.

_"This lunch isn't all that bad!"_ I thought chowing down. _"It isn't Angelo's pizza or Wendy's but it's good enough."_ Sasuke was eating too as was Sakura(there were three lunches), but Naruto was still tied to the stump. He looks so silly. Naruto stomach started growling again causing Sasuke, Sakura and I to look at him.

"This is no big deal! I can go without eating for days!" Naruto yelled out. "Believe it! This is no _**big**_ deal!"

"Actually the human body can only support itself without food for three days…and you've already went through one."

He sweatdropped.

And then his stomach started growling again causing his grin to falter. "No problem..." I heard Sasuke sigh so I turned to him. His hand was held out to Naruto with his food in it.

"Here," is what he said.

"Aw Sasuke, you old softy! I didn't think you were that kinda guy!" I praised him. "I'm so proud! My little bunny is growing up!" I said wiping away a fake tear. He gave me an annoyed look but I didn't care. I think I'm freaking adorable.

"What?" Naruto asked, I could tell he was confused.

"B-But Sasuke-kun Kakashi-sensei told us to-!

"Kakashi's gone, we need to get the bells as a team," Sasuke explained. "If Naruto's hungry he will be weak and ineffective, and that hurts the team and jeopardizes the mission." Sasuke looked at me and then smirked. =_=; Uh... why is he looking at me like that? It's scaring me.

"It's just like you said we need my strength as well as Naruto, Sakura and your strategies. A balanced team."

"Aww! Thank you Sasuke!" I said grinning patting his back. "You're going to bring tears to my eyes!" sounding as if I'm gonna cry.

"Whatever..." Sasuke said looking away. I saw Sakura pick up her boxed lunch and pick up some rice with the chopsticks and then stood up. She's probably doing this to show Sasuke she is a nice person or something. I wipe at my eyes to make sure no one see's them turn yellowish lime-green.

"Sakura-chan" Naruto said blushing.

"Stop blushing! This is a one time thing! Never again!" She scolded. _'Unless its for Sasuke-kun.'_

"Okay... thanks!" Naruto said opening his mouth so she could feed him.

"Hurry up! He could come back any minute! Stop chatting and feed him!" Sasuke ordered.

"Stop chatting and feed him!" I mimicked in a high pitched voice. "Shut up Emo-bunny!" I said making him glare; She stuck the food in Naruto open mouth. But as soon as he said 'mmm mmm good!' a cloud of smoke suddenly got our attention.

"YOU!" Kakashi yelled scary the living hell out of me!

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" I screamed and I was gonna continue screaming until... "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh-" Sasuke clamped a hand over my mouth.

"Stop screaming."

"Sorry."

"You broke the rules!" Kakashi continued, the smoke was gone. "I hope you're ready for the punishment!" he said and then started to do hand signs; thunder clouds started forming scaring me even more. "Any last words?"

"But I didn't get to meet Tobi yet!" Sasuke gave me a 'you're crazy' look.

"B-B-But you said..." Naruto began to say.

"Yes...?" Kakashi asked looking oh so intimidating.

"You said that there was four of us, that's what you said and that's why... Sakura and..." Naruto began.

"We're all on this squad and we're all in this together!" Sasuke finished.

"Yeah! I second the statement!" I said

"We are one!" Sakura announced.

What was that? This isn't the freaking Lion King!

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Believe it! That's right!" Naruto said.

"The four of you are one? That's your excuse?" Kakashi asked looking at us with his eye!

"Yeah! Believe it!" Naruto shouted. Kakashi chuckled and then his eye closed.

"You pass!" he said.

"Huh?" Naruto said dumbfounded.

"What?" I said, I too acted dumbfounded.

"You... pass," Kakashi repeated slower.

"You're the first squad that ever succeeded, the others did exactly what I said and fell into every trap. They couldn't think for themselves," Kakashi began explaining as the thunder clouds disappeared. Since when could he control the weather? "A ninja must see through deception. In the ninja world those who break the rules are scum, that's true but... those who abandon their friends are worst than scum."

I smiled and patted myself on the back mentally. I saw that Naruto was about to cry, Sakura was having a squealing fest and Sasuke just smirked. "That's uh... ya know... kinda cool," Naruto said still looking like he was about to cry.

"The training is over! Everyone passes!" Kakashi said. "Squad 7 starts their first mission tomorrow!" he said giving us a thumbs up.

"I did it! I'm a ninja! Ninja! Ninja!" Naruto said, he really did cry!

"Woohoo! Party all night, baby!" I cheered.

"Let's go home." Kakashi said.

I untie Naruto as everyone else started leaving. Buttholes. That's really mean to just leave him here.

We caught up to them, but then I started coughing violently.

"You okay?" Sasuke asked.

I just stared at my hand, my eyes widened…

Blood?

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: The Worst Client


	8. Chapter 8

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

"Ren, point C." I announce into my head set.

"Sasuke... I'm at point B," He said after me.

"Sakura here, I'm at point D!" She said after Sasuke.

…

"Naruto... I'm at point A. Believe it!" Naruto said. My eye twitched. Kakashi wasn't going to let that one slide, was he?

"You're slow, Naruto!" Kakashi voice was heard. "Okay, squad 7- The target has moved!" This got my attention! "Follow it!"

When the three of us stopped running I saw that Sasuke and Sakura were behind me and Naruto was above me. "Over there!" he stated the obvious.

"Thank you captain obvious." I stated. I told them I hated it when people pointed out the obvious.

His eye twitched. We all moved again closer to our target.

"What's your distance from the target?" Kakashi asked.

"5 meters," Naruto answered. "I'm ready, just give the signal."

"I'm ready too," Sasuke said.

"Ready!" Sakura also said.

"Let's just get this stupid D mission over with." I said still watching where our target was.

I could tell the rest of team 7 was thinking the same.

"NOW!" Kakashi instructed and we all jumped towards the target; but Naruto was the one who ended up getting it. It was a brown cat with a red ribbon on his ear. Naruto was having a pretty hard time with the little thing.

"I got him! I got him!" Naruto said still struggling. I felt sorry for Naruto so I picked up the cat and handed it to Sakura.

"It's going to be okay now!" Sakura cooed. "Naruto won't hurt you any more!"

"Me, hurt that thing!" Naruto screamed. "It's the devil incarnate!" I just laughed until Kakashi got my attention.

I stood next to Sasuke away from the lost-now-found pet. I'm not fond of cats. Kittens yes. Cats no.

"Can you verify ribbon on its right ear?" he asked.

"Affirmative, we have a positive id" Sasuke said.

"Right, lost pet, Tora, captured," Kakashi said. "Mission accomplished."

"Finally." I muttered. Sasuke and Naruto nodded in agreement.

"CAN'T WE GET A BETTER MISSION THAN THIS?" Naruto yelled into the mic; I saw Sasuke clutched his ears as did I. "I HATE CATS!"

I've had enough of his yelling for one day. "I bet your lungs take up most of your head. Your brain obviously doesn't need the space."

"Hey!"

Everyone else laughed.

Sorry Naruto, couldn't resist.

I suddenly remembered what I read in my guide yesterday and touched my throat. Apparently, I have an Illness. Not one that will put my life in danger…but it is kind of serious…I get attacks like the one I got after Kakashi's test, I cough up blood, my throat feels like its burning from the inside out, and it can waste away my chakra and energy. They mostly occur while fighting or just at random moments.

"hey Ren you okay? Your eyes are like a dark blue." Naruto asked with his face REALLY close to mine.

I smile and push him away by his face. "I'm perfectly fine! Let's go report to the hokage."

Naruto nodded. Sasuke still looked at me concerned while Sakura inspected her nails.

"I'm fine…"

~Hokage tower~

I watched as a big woman hug the death out of the cat we had just returned. I grimaced at the scene in front of me. _'It's no wonder it ran away, probably thought she was gonna sit on him.'_ I thought shaking my head.

"Stupid cat! That kitty deserves to be squashed!" Naruto laughed.

"Now then, for squad seven's next mission we have several available tasks," the Hokage got our attention. He looked a lot older in person! "Among them are babysitting the chief councilor's three-year-old son, helping his wife to do the shopping, digging up potatoes-"

Ugh I hate potatoes… how long is the damn list?

"These tasks sound an awful like chores!" Sakura muttered.

He looked as if he was about to continue! Somebody please interrupt him!

"Noooo!" Naruto groaned in agony making the Hokage stop and look at him. "I want to go on a real mission!" he shouted with his arms like a X. "Something challenging and exciting! Not this little kid stuff! Come on old man!"

Thank you Naruto. For opening your big trap.

"I knew this was coming," I whispered to Sasuke; he nodded his head in agreement.

"Though, he has a point," Sasuke said

"True." I nodded my head in agreement. I saw Sakura glare at me. I'M JUST TALKING TO HIM YOU DING BAT!

"He's such a pain…" She muttered again now looking at Naruto…does putting people down boost your low self-esteem, you pink little-

"How dare you!" Iruka said slamming his hands on the desk in front of him. "You're just a brand new genin with no experience! Like everyone else you start with simple mission to develop your skills and improve yourself!"

"Are you serious? Babysitting is not a mission! It's just a stupid…!" Kakashi cut off Naruto's little rant by knocking him over the head.

"Would you put a lid on it?" he asked calmly.

Heh. Naruto got owned.

"Naruto, it seems you do not understand the tasks you have been given," the Hokage said gaining Naruto's attention. Well, I heard this all before and it bored me to tears so I'm not going to bother listening to him. Yeah, I know that's kinda rude but he's old and always rambling…

"So Naruto those things on your face…what are they exactly? Are they like a birth mark…or scars…what?" or yo mama got screwed by an animal…

Sasuke, Sakura and even Kakashi was now paying attention to us. Guess they really wanted to know too.

"You know, I have no idea." He answered scratching his cheek.

Suddenly Naruto started talking to us about a story about ramen we all listened…meh, I guess we were all bored. "So then I had this ramen yesterday and I was thinking miso ramen today-"

"Silence!" the Hokage got our attention; I didn't know an old man's voice could be so deep.

"Oh, sorry," Kakashi said rubbing the back of his head.

"You're always lecturing me like you're my grandfather or something! But, I'm not the little brat that used to pull pranks!" Naruto shouted. "I'm a ninja now and I want a ninja mission!" And then he turned around and pouted. He's not a little brat, my butt -Rolled eyes-

"I'm going to hear about this later..." Kakashi said still rubbing the back of his head.

"Naruto wants us to know he's not a brat. He's a former brat," the Hokage said. "And he wants a mission... so be it."

"Huh?" Naruto said.

"What...?" Sasuke and I said simultaneously.

I held a grip on Sasuke's shoulder and started swinging myself back and forth.

"Oh my gosh! Naruto's whining finally came to good use!"

"HEY!"

"Hn. Let go of me, Ren."

"I can do what I want, Emo-bunny." I say as I push my finger into his cheek. Ha, he still has baby fat.

"LET GO OF SASUKE-KUN!" Guess who that was.

"Since you are so determined, I'm going to give you a C-rank mission," the Hokage said smoking his pipe. Ugh stupid drunk! "You will be body guards on a journey."

"Really...?" Naruto said turning his head. "Yes! Who? Are we guarding a princess or-"

"It's gonna be an old drunken man." I said patting his head; he was still on the ground, he began to laugh. "Yeah right, Ren! I'm too awesome for that!"

"Well aren't you modest. Who are we guarding?" I asked.

"I will bring him in now," the Hokage said. "Send in our visitor!" We all looked towards the door to see who we were supposed to guard. The door slid open and in came an old man with a bottle of what I'm assuming was either sake or wine... or maybe it's beer…does beer even exist in this show?; he also had glasses.

"What the- a bunch of snot-nosed kids?" his words were slurred; the man was a little drunk I see, he drunk some more of whatever was in the bottle.

"Excuse me? But do you see snot running down my nose?" I asked clearly annoyed by this _charming _old man; I could feel my eyebrow twitched. "Drunken old fart…" Naruto stood up and made a 'huh' sound.

"You, the little one with the idiotic look on your face," the man said pointing. "Do you really expect me to believe you're a ninja?" Naruto started laughing making me look at him like he was a moron. Which he was at the moment seeing that he didn't know that said little one with the idiotic look on his face was him.

"Who's the little one with the idiotic look on his f-" Naruto stopped and looked as Sasuke, Sakura and I walked closer to Naruto.

It was almost like lines appeared telling each of our heights. Sasuke was the tallest than Sakura than me and Naruto was shorter than all of us which was funny 'cause I'm pretty damn short; realization dawned on Naruto and he got mad almost instantly. "I'll demolish you!" Naruto yelled; it was lucky that Kakashi grabbed him by the back of his jumpsuit. He really needs to control his temper…so does Sakura with her she-male strength.

"You can't demolish our clients, it doesn't work that way" he said.

But, wouldn't it be something if we could.

"I'm the super expert bridge builder, Tazuna. I expect you guys to super protect me until I get back to my country and complete the bridge."

"Demanding little bugger, idn't he?" I Say out loud. Sasuke Kakashi and Naruto all nodded.

~Later~

I start walking toward the gates. Sasuke was there first.

"Hi Emo-bunny!"

"Ren…" Sasuke said when he noticed me.

"I swear if Kakashi is late for this mission I'm gonna report him after I shove I kunai up his butt." I say absentmindedly.

"Hn..." was his retort. I rolled my eyes at him and sat on the ground. "...Ren...?"

"Hmmm…?" I mumbled with my eyes closed. I'm so sleepy.

"Why are you so different?" Sasuke asked and I gave him an O.o look. "from when we were in the academy? You used to be like…you didn't exist."

OH CRUD! Hurry Ren think of something! ANYTHING BUT THE TRUTH! HE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

"Well Sasuke…in the academy I was just really focused on becoming a ninja I just didn't have time to socialize and what not, I was trying to make my parents proud of me before they-" I stopped. I felt my eyes turn a dark blue. I saw Sasuke looking at me with a worried face. I poked at the area between his eye brows.

"Don't make that face you're only twelve you don't need wrinkles. Anyway so when the time to graduate came I stopped being a book worm and showed my true colors!"

"Is that your reason...?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah. Why? You thought I changed to get your attention?" I asked smirking evilly, my eyes turning gold. "Get over yourself Emo-Bunny-Chan!"

"Hn... that's not what I thought! And stop calling me that, it doesn't make any sense!" Sasuke said glaring and blushing lightly. My smirk widened. Please, it totally makes sense. He must never see all the adorable fanart of him with kitty ears.

"Yeah, yeah, I know!" I said. "You were really thinking 'If she gets any more sexy and adorable... how am I supposed to impress her?' weren't you? Well too bad I'm only twelve and I'm more smexier than Meghan Fox!" I know I'm exaggerating but I don't care.

"Who?"

"…Nevermined."

Sasuke turned his face from me and said.

"Just Shut up, Crazy! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh, you know you want me, Uchiha!" I said as I put my hand on my hip and poke his cheek again with my other hand. Sometimes he is just so cute! Like a wolf puppy! I was about to sing I know you want me, but then Naruto showed up.

"Hey! Are you ready for the mission?" Naruto got my attention. Sakura following him.

"Yeah!" I said my eyes turning orange as I throw my fist in the air. "Bring it Mofoes!" I raised an open palm to Naruto and gave me a high five. Yeah, I still do high fives.

"I'm glad to see that you're so enthusiastic about this mission," Kakashi's voice made me turn to him; he was with that bridge builder. The gates were already opened and everyone was already exiting.

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted after we had all exited and were now behind the doors. Wait a minute…who the hell opened the gates? "This is the first time I've left the village! I'm a traveler now! Believe it!" My eye twitched.

"Am I suppose to trust this brat with my life?" bridge builder asked Kakashi while pointing at Naruto. "This kid's a joke!"

Ouch. Harsh much?

"He's with me and I'm a jounin so you don't need to worry," Kakashi chuckled lightly. I'm surprised Naruto didn't scream at Tazuna.

"Hey! Never insult a ninja!" Naruto yelled pointing; oop! Nevermined. "It's a big mistake! And I am one of the greatest ninja ever. Someday, I'll be the greatest Hokage and then you will have to look up to me! My name is Naruto Uzumaki!"

"I think he meant loudest ninja," I said sighing. Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura nodded. "And honestly Naruto stop being so modest." I say sarcastically. He's just as full of himself as Sasuke.

"Hokages are powerful and wise, you are puny and brainless," bridge builder said. "The day you become Hokage is the day I sprout wings and fly."

Oh my gosh I would love to sprout wings and fly. That would be so cool.

"Shut up! I'm willing to do anything to become Hokage….No matter what it takes!" Naruto yelled. "And when I do, everyone will have to admit that I'm the top ninja, including you!"

He does know that the hokage spends most of their time doing paperwork and almost NEVER goes on missions, right?

"I wouldn't acknowledge you even if you do become Hokage... ten times over!" bridge builder said; that was kinda harsh! I gave him a nasty look for being so rude and Naruto started yelling again and it looked like he was about to attack but Kakashi held on to him again.

"This is going to be a long mission," I sighed. "With those two idiots..."

"Hey… Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura said.

"Yes...?" he asked.

"What are kages exactly?"

"The hidden villages in the Five Great Shinobi Countries - Rock, Cloud, Mist, Sand, and Leaf- boast a great number of powerful ninja , and their military far exceeds that of the smaller countries. The "Kage" name is only granted to individuals powerful enough to lead those five hidden villages. Generally, the name is bestowed by the previous owner, but some of the villages determine succession by deliberation among the most powerful leaders. The Kages stand at the pinnacle of the tens of thousands on ninja in the world, and it is not an overstatement to say that these five leaders keep the ninja world peaceful.

Hokage= Leaf Village leader

Kazekage= Sand Village leader

Mizukage= Mist Village leader

Raikage= Cloud Village leader

Tsuchikage= Rock Village leader, get it?" Kakashi answered.

"Really? Hokage-sama is SO amazing." Sakura gushed. I rolled my eyes.

INNER SAKURA: I DON'T SEE ANYTHING THAT GREAT ABOUT THE OLD FART WHO'S ALWAYS LECTURING US!

"You don't think he's all that great at all do you?" I asked not looking at her. Sakura tensed up.

"Really..." I said. "Naruto… ruling over thousands of ninja, huh? I wonder what that would be like." Suddenly a visual of Naruto being Hokage came to mind; he was demanding that everyone eat at least four bowls of Ramen everyday and the people were looking at him like he was crazy. And I saw that all the people were wearing orange jumpsuits. And people being band from Konoha for being taller than him.

Before I knew it I started laughing at that! I mean, imagine Kakashi and Sasuke wearing an orange jumpsuit!

"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asked making me turn to him; that made me laugh a little harder! "Okay, forget I asked..."

"But we won't run into any rogue ninja, will we?" Sakura asked looking scared. Yes we will.

"Well anyway, there are no ninja battles in a C-rank mission," Kakashi put his hand on Sakura's head. "So you can relax."

Sasuke and I saw Tazuna tense up. Then we looked at each other, noting the suspicion.

No one said a word after that. I noticed we walked by a puddle of water... but there was no other puddles around. Oh wait this is when those Demon brothers attack us. Kakashi noticed the puddle too. I made eye contact with him telling him that I also noticed. He nodded at me.

Suddenly I saw something coming at me and Kakashi so I jumped away. He didn't follow but I knew he already did a substitution. It was a metal rope with blades and it wrapped around Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei!" I called pretending to be shocked/scared.

I saw that these two guys were the ones with the metal rope. "One little piggy!" one of them said and then they pulled tearing Kakashi apart.

Crap that was scary looking!

"K-Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto called out in disbelief drawing my attention to him. I saw that the two ninja were behind him.

"NARUTO!" I yelled.

"Two little piggies!" one of them said laughing as they were behind Naruto.

Stupid bestiality freaks.

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: Target #2


	9. Chapter 9

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

The two flung their metal blade chain things in the air preparing on killing Naruto but Sasuke pinned the things to a tree. Naruto fell to the ground in surprise.

The two ninja were trapped. "I can't get loose!" one of them said. Sasuke kicked the two and then one of them headed straight for the bridge builder! Sakura stood in front of Tazuna as I stood in front of her.

"Stay back Sir!" I heard Sakura yell and as soon as the ninja was close enough, I dropped to the ground and kicked my foot upward kicking him into the air making him airborne!

"Sasuke...!" I yell to Sasuke to get his attention. He jumped up to the ninja, did a flip in mid air and used the back of my foot to kick the ninja down again.

"EPIC!" I shouted as he crashed to the ground. _'That was awesome! I made some douche fly with just ONE kick'_ I thought as Sasuke landed next to me, both of us ready for the next attack. Suddenly Kakashi came from nowhere and grabbed the ninja before they could attack again.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Sakura and Naruto shouted.

'_Hmph He had to butt in.'_ Sasuke pouted inwardly.

"He's alive!" I thought cheerfully.

"Ren, you already knew that I used a substitute, why are you acting surprised?"

"I didn't want to be left out." I said smiling.

"He used the replacement jutsu!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Naruto, sorry I didn't help you right away, I didn't mean for you to get hurt," Kakashi said still he had a hold on the ninja. "I just didn't think you freeze up like that." He started walking towards me and Sasuke. "Good job Sasuke, very smooth, you too Ren."

Dude…SHUT UP! YOU'RE MAKING NARUTO FEEL USELESS! DON'T MAKE THE MAIN CHARACTER FEEL BAD!

"Thanks," I mumbled. I feel bad now.

"Hey!" Sasuke got Naruto's attention. "You're not hurt are you... you big chicken?"

"SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura gushed.

Douche. I walk over behind Sasuke put my head next to his and glare at him.

"Gloating is for the weak with low self-esteem.

"SASUKE-" Naruto was interrupted.

"Naruto, stand still... these ninja had poison in their claws," Kakashi said. "We need to take out the poison as soon as possible. Don't move around, that spreads it."

Naru-chan…

"By the way mister Tazuna..." Kakashi said.

"Uh... Yeah, what?" bridge builder said.

"We need to talk," he answered. Kakashi then tied the two ninja to a nearby tree, we all stood in front of them.

"They're are chunin from the village hidden in the mist," Kakashi informed us. "Their specialty is relentless attack. They keep fighting no matter what the sacrifice."

"How did you know about our ambush?" one of the ninja asked.

"Ren... would you like to explain?" Kakashi asked making everyone's attention turn to me. I could feel myself blush at all the attention.

"…no but might as well! I saw this puddle... one puddle and when it hasn't rained in days... weeks even. I thought that was pretty odd considering this fact," I started. "I'm pretty sure Kakash-sensei noticed it too."

"Very good explanation, Ren," Kakashi praised.

"Yeah Yeah Yeah!" I said.

"How could she notice that but not me...?" I heard Sasuke ask himself.

"Simple Sasuke," I said getting his attention. I then wrapped an arm around his shoulder " I got mad skillz and you were to focused on how smexy I am!" I saw Sasuke roll his eyes at me making me grin.

"Get away from Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yells

INNER SAKURA: GET OFF MY MAN, WHORE!

I move away just to make her SHUT UP!

"In that case, why did you let the genin do the fighting?" Tazuna asked.

"I could have taken them out quickly but then I would have learned nothing. I had to know who their target was," I saw Kakashi give Tazuna a sidewards glance. "And what they were after..."

"What are you getting at?" bridge builder asked.

"This... I wanted to know if they were attacking us; ninja fighting ninja or if they were after you, the master bridge builder?" Kakashi said. "When you put in your request you ask for standard protection from robbers and highway men. You didn't say ninja were hunting you down. If we knew this it would have been a B-rank mission or higher. Our task was to simply get you to your destination and protect you were you finish the bridge. If we knew this we would have changed it and charged it accordingly. You must have your reasons but lying to us is not acceptable. We are now beyond the scope of this mission."

"This might be too advance for genin like us, I mean Naruto completely froze when we were attacked," Sakura said. I had a angry look on my face.

GOSH WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE ITS NARUTO'S FAULT! IT'S NOT! I looked at Naruto. "We need to get that poison out of him fast before it spreads any further."

I saw Naruto look at his hand and then looked at Kakashi who had sighed loudly. "Naruto's hand could become a problem... oh well, I guess we have to return to the village," Kakashi said.

Kakashi…shut up already!

Naruto suddenly took out a kunai and stabbed himself in his already wounded hand making everyone gasp. "GASP!"Sakura and I gasped making Sasuke look at me strangely before turning his attention back to Naruto.

"Why am I so different? Why am I always so- argh!" Naruto growled out.

"Naruto you idiot! What are you doing!" Sakura screeched.

"Naruto calm down." I said. "You don't have to do this…"

"Yes I do! I worked so hard to get here, pushing myself until it hurt. Training alone for hours; anything to get stronger and reach my dream," Naruto said making me smile. "I will never back down again and let someone else rescue me. I will never run away and I won't lose to Sasuke! Upon this wound I make this pledge. Believe it! Bridge builder, I'll complete this mission and protect you with this kunai knife. Real ninja never give up and neither will I! Don't you guys worry about me, I'll be fine! So let's go!" he finally finished.

Wow…My eye didn't twitch when he said 'Believe it'

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

AN- have you noticed the SasuRen Scenes? AND on my deviant art account there is fan art about this story (in my gallery and favorites)the account link is on my gallery

Next time: Going Ashore


	10. Chapter 10

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

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"Naruto, that was really cool how you got the poison out and all but..." I started.

"But if you lose anymore blood... you're going to die!" Kakashi finished. It got real quiet after he said that; Naruto had frozen on the spot. Naruto suddenly turned blue in the face and he was sweating bullets.

"Aaaaaaah!" Naruto shouted.

"Really good idea to stop the blood now!" Kakashi said in a sing song voice.

"No! No! No! I'm too young for it to end like this! No! No! No!" Naruto shouted going into panic mode.

"Show me your hand," Kakashi sighed out.

"Naruto calm down! I'll help you heal it!" I shouted.

"No! No! No!" Naruto yells continued as Kakashi inspected the wound; I rolled my eyes. "Um... um... you have a serious look on your face! Your scary me, am I going to be okay?"

"Uh... yeah, you will be fine," Kakashi said

"Here. Give me your hand." He showed me his hand. "This is nothing. I've seen worse." I pulled my sleeve up and bit my wrist hard enough to make it bleed.

"Ren!"

"Shut up."

I grabbed a small vile that I had no idea I had, from my pouch and squeeze the blood from my wound and into the vile.

"Here. Drink this." Naruto gave me a horrified look.

"No! That's unsanitary!" he screamed. I'm surprised that he even knows what unsanitary means. I looked around. Everyone looked at me as if I was crazy…except Kakashi, he knew about my heritage apparently.

"Don't give me those looks! My clan has special blood: it's a cure/heal most heals you can think of. It can make bones knit faster, make blood stop flowing from a wound, cure you from a sickness according to the amount of blood you ingest."

What I say is true, I read my guide. Tazuna and Naruto stare at me in awe. Sasuke looks impressed. Kakashi looks indifferent. And Sakura looks like she thinks I'm a freak…please, people here can take out their bones and use them as weapons and she thinks I'M a freak? Tsk.

"So take it already. We're wasting time." He takes the vile from me. Gulps, looking unsure. Then quickly swallows the crimson fluid.

"EW EW EW EWIE EW!" Sakura squeals. I roll my eyes. Well, I gotta admit drinking a person's blood is pretty gross.

"It tastes…like…tangy and it tingles in my mouth." He says off-handedly.

"Really?" I ask. I bring my bleeding wrist to my mouth and suck on it.

"EEEWWWW! REN YOU'RE SO GROSS!" I roll my eyes again.

…

Oh My Gosh…it tastes like Siera Mist!

I look at Naruto's wound then wrap a bandage around it.

"the visible cut may be gone but its still tender, it will hurt if you put too much pressure on it, so take it easy."

"I'm not a girl! I'm fine!" he cheers. I then squeeze his hand. He yelps in pain.

"The pain will go away in about an hour or so." How I know this? I have no clue, I just do.

"So, are we continuing the mission, Kakashi?" I asked.

"Yes, we are!" Kakashi said fully standing up.

"Alright!" I said grinning; "Lets move!"

I am... bored! Ya wanna know why? Well, it's because all of us were in a boat including the bridge builder. The motor was turned off and it was absolutely silent. IT WAS DRIVING ME INSANE! "marry me juliet , you never have to be alone!" I sang. "I love you and that's all I really know I talked to your dad, he'll pick out a white dress it's a love story baby just say-!"

"Ren!" Kakashi voice got my attention. "You do realize we are trying to be quiet, right?"

"…Yes. I sang out my answer and the last line of the verse. I laughed nervously. I don't care what people think. Taylor Swift is awesome.

"Sorry, it's just... I'm really bored and y'all already know I like to sing," I said.

"You were actually pretty good, Ren."

"Thank You, Naruto." I sang in choir.

"You weren't that good."

"Up yours, Sakura."

"Hn."

"HN!"

"We should be able to see the bridge soon," the person operating the boat said. "If we move along the side of the bridge, we'll be at the Country of the wave." Yeah, I think I see it!

DUDE! That's one big ass bridge! And it's not even completed. "Whoa! It's huge!" Naruto suddenly shouted.

"Quiet! I told you no noise! Why do you think we're traveling like this, huh?" boat person said... yeah, I really didn't know his name; or maybe I just didn't pay attention when he mentioned it. "Cutting off the engine and rowing, moving through the dense fog... so they don't see us!" Naruto covered his mouth and had a weird look on his face. They...? Who's they...?..oh yeah that douche bag Gato…cat

"Tazuna-san...? Before we reach the shore, I have to ask you something," Kakashi said in a calm voice.

Boring.

"The men that were after you, I need to know why," he finished. Oh that, I already know what he's talking about. So, I really don't have to listen to their conversation. But what should I do in the mean time?

'_OH! I can sing silently!'_ I thought grinning evilly_. 'Now what should I sing?…hmm oh! I know!…'_

I'm not Snow White  
But I'm lost inside this forest.  
I'm not Red Riding Hood,  
But I think the wolves have got me.

Don't want the stilettos  
I'm not, not Cinderella  
I don't need a knight, so baby take off all your armor

You be the Beast and I'll be the Beauty, Beauty  
Who needs true love as long as you love me truly?  
I want it all, but I want you more  
Will you wake me up boy if I bite your poison apple?

I don't believe in fairy tales  
I don't believe in fairy tales  
I don't believe in fairy tales  
But I believe in you and me

Take me to Wonderland

"REN!"

"WHAT?"

Someone's voice got my attention; I looked to see that everyone was out of the boat and on land, Sasuke looked a little angry. "Quit singing to yourself and get out of the boat!" Man, Sasuke is such hobknocker!

"Shut up you wanker!" I said climbing out of the boat. "It isn't my fault I got distracted! If you guys were more interesting I would have paid attention!"

Once I got out of the boat and started looking around; I noticed that everything seemed to be a lot clearer than before. "Hey, did you guys know that Juliet was 13 and Romeo was eighteen when they met?"

"Who the hell are they?"

"What kind of stupid name is Romeleo?"

"why are you telling us this?"

…I hate not being able to talk about stuff with these people. I'M SO BORED!

"Okay, take me to my home and I mean get me there in one piece!" Tazuna said.

"Right," Kakashi said and then we all began to walk in a certain direction.

'_Okay, this is when Zabuza AKA freak with no eyebrows with a huge ass sword, comes in,_' I thought walking ahead of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. _'I should keep my guard up.'_ Suddenly Naruto ran ahead of us and started looking around making all of us stop in our tracks.

He took out a kunai and threw it yelling something about 'Over there!' Now what exactly did he see? I noticed that everyone froze when Naruto did this; a couple of seconds went by and then Naruto stood up straight. "It was just a mouse," he said making my eye twitch.

"What Mouse? There was nothing there you moron!" Sakura yelled.

"Naruto, those are kunai knife... they're dangerous!" Kakashi scolded.

"HEY, YOU DWARF! DON'T SCARE US!" Tazuna yelled.

"I see someone hiding over there!" Naruto said. "No, is he over there?... There!" Naruto threw another kunai knife.

"Naruto , I know that you're trying to impress everyone but you're just acting more idiotic than impressive!" I say; it was getting irritating.

"But I really did sense someone," Naruto whined.

"You better not be lying!" Sakura yelled. I saw Kakashi go through the bushes that Naruto had threw his kunai into. I went by Kakashi to see what he was looking at and saw a white bunny, the kunai knife lodged over it's head; it looked as if the poor bunny fainted from shock!

Aw poor bunny.

Sakura popped Naruto upside the head in anger! "Ah... Sakura-chan! What was that for?" Naruto asked/whined. I felt a vain in my forehead throb. I HATE IT when people especially boys whine.

"Look what you did, idiot!" the pinkette yelled pointing at the bunny. Naruto looked to where she was pointing and then had a guilty look on his face.

"A rabbit!" he said going over to the poor animal; he picked it up and held it close to his face. "Oh, I'm sorry, little rabbit! I'm so sorry!"

This is why in fanfics I see him as an uke. He's so cute!

"All this fuss over a rodent..." bridge builder said.

"Put the rabbit down, Naruto!" I said. "Its already in shock no need to suffocate it.!"

I suddenly felt something... and it wasn't a good thing! "Look out!" Kakashi called to us; I quickly followed his instructions and dived to the ground. When I got up, I saw everyone else had also gotten up. I then saw a Zabuza standing on the executioner's blade(yes, I know the name) that was lodged into a tree.

"Zabuza...!" I thought. "He's a lot more creepier in person."

…I just now notice that his entire outfit are leg/arm warmers and huge pants.

"Well, well, if it isn't Zabuza Momochi, the exiled ninja of the Hidden Village of Mist," Kakashi said walking towards the tree.

No Naruto. Stay out of it. They're out of our league.

"You're in the way. Get back," Kakashi said stopping Naruto from making a foolish mistake, Naruto was about to charge at Zabuza.

"But why...?" Naruto asked.

"He is not like those other ninja," Kakashi answered. "He's in a whole other league."

'_I just said that…wait…no I thought that…'_ I thought randomly…DAMNIT REN! PAY ATTENTION! I MIGHT GET AN ATTACK IF I FIGHT THIS GUY…HOLY CHIZ I MIGHT GET AN ATTACK!

"I'm guessing you are Kakashi the Sharingan user," Zabuza said. I noticed that Sasuke looked at Kakashi in surprise. Well duh. Sasuke should be pissed since Kakashi's not even an Uchiha and he completed the wheel. While he has only one comma thing…and he doesn't even know it.

"eye transplant," I murmured to him.

"I'm sorry but, you have to let me take the old geezer," Zabuza said.

"Everyone, form the swastika formation!" Kakashi ordered. "Protect Tazuna-san and do not join the battle."

Uh... what the heck is a swastinka? Did he just make that up?

"I taught you teamwork, now it's time to use it!" Kakashi finished; I saw him lifting up his forehead protector.

Sweet. Time to see the sharingan in action.

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: Game Over!


	11. Chapter 11

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

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"I'm honored that I can see the Sharingan that I've heard about," Zabuza said.

"You guys have been saying Sharingan, but what is it?" Naruto asked.

"Sharingan... The eye creates it, and it is the power that the pupil generates," Sasuke explained. "The user of this visual jutsu or doujutso can instantly see and comprehend any genjutsu, taijutsu, and ninjutsu, and cancel their effects. Sharingan is one of the types of eyes that those doujutsu users possess. But that's not the only ability the Sharingan possesses."

"Huh?" I looked over to Naruto and whispered.

"It can see through and copy any genjutsu and ninjutsu. For example if you mad a thousand clones a person with the sharingan would be able to find the real you."

"Oooh."

"You got it right boy," Zabuza said. "But you only scratched the surface. The Sharingan can analyze the opponents technique and then copy it to the smallest detail." I noticed that it suddenly got really foggy; I could hardly see through it.

Man, I hate fog. It makes me squint but I still won't be able to see anything. It's misleading.

"When I was in the Hidden Village of Mist's assassination squad... your information was listed in the bingo book I carried asking for your capture," Zabuza said.

Whoop-dii-doo. You read something out of a book. Why is it called a BINGO book anyway? Why do all the bad guys feel the need to talk about their victim, themselves or their dastardly deed before they kill somebody?

"It also noted this... The man who copied more than 1000 techniques, Kakashi the copy ninja," Zabuza continued.

"WOW!" Naruto and Sakura said in awe and Sasuke just glared... well, at least I think he glared…why is he glaring in the first place? Is this some male pride thing? Tsk boys are so stupid.

"Let's cut the chit-chat here," Zabuza said gaining my attention.

Uuuh... let's not! Please keep talking, I don't want that over sized butter knife anywhere near me!

"I have to kill that geezer right away." That was when we all jumped in front of the bridge builder; Naruto on one side of me, on the other Sakura, and Sasuke in front; we all had a kunai knife in front of us.

"But, Kakashi, it seems I have to defeat you first." Zabuza suddenly disappeared giant weapon and all! I saw him reappear in the water... actually he was standing on the water.

You know that pisses me off. People can stand on water, make clones of themselves, shoot fire balls, and animals can talk…but men can't get pregnant…mpregs rock.

BACK ON TOPIC!

"He's over there!" Naruto said.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious again Naruto…those pants are so dumb." I whispered to myself but Sasuke somehow managed to hear me. Sneaky devil.

"Ren...! This is no time for that!" he yelled/ hissed. Sakura glared at me, siding with Sasuke…even though she has no idea what the situation is.

"What? They are!" I retorted softly. "and he doesn't even own a shirt!"

All of a sudden, Zabuza disappeared from my sight.

Oh crap! He's come to get me for my rude remark! I'll never insult another NARUTO character again…pfft yes I will…

"He disappeared!" Naruto said as Kakashi walked in front of us.

"K-Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura stuttered.

"He'll try to eliminate me first, but..." Kakashi said.

"But...?" I said.

"Zabuza Momochi, he was in the Hidden Village ANBU, and was know for his 'silent killing' techniques," Kakashi continued.

"S-Silent...? Naruto asked.

Oh, that's unsettling.

"As the name suggests, it happens in an instant without sound or warning of any kind," Kakashi explained. "It's so fast, you pass from this life without realizing what's happened. The Sharingan can not fully neutralize it, so don't lower your guard."

_"Easy for him to say!_

"Well, if we fail we only lose our lives," Kakashi said.

Not much to lose…NOT! There's so much I didn't do yet! I didn't tell Tobi he's a good boy or poke Itachi in the forehead or punch Sakura or Ino or put Deidara and Naruto in a proper speaking class!

"The mist is getting thicker and thicker!" Naruto stated.

"The land of waves is surrounded by ocean, the swirling mist is ever present," bridge builder said.

"Oh-no! It's so bad that I can't see Kakashi-sensei anymore!" I said.

"What!" Sasuke said.

"You heard me you deaf chicken

"You little-!" Sasuke said.

"Quiet you two!" bridge builder said.

"Eight points," Zabuza's creepy voice filled my ears.

CRAP! That's so freaky! Goosebumps!

"The larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular, vein, collarbone, kidney, and heart," Zabuza continued. "Now, which vital organ do you want to be struck at?" Zabuza asked making me gulp.

"Uuuh... the secret answer none of the above?" I asked.

"NO!"

"S-S-Sorry I asked!" I stuttered my eyes turning white. Suddenly I could feel a strong wind picking up blowing away the fog. I saw Kakashi again...THANK YOU GOD!

I saw Sasuke grab his kunai with both hands and was slowly pointing the tip towards his stomach. I grab his hand that held the kunai. He looked at me. My eyes turned light blue and eye smiled slightly at him and told him that we'll be fine. He calmed down a little

"Sasuke! Don't worry. I'll protect the four of you with my life," Kakashi said. "I won't let anyone on my team die. Trust me."

"See? Nothing to worry about! So don't go suicidal on us! Your too arrogant for that" I said.

"I would be so sure," Zabuza said... and he sounded close; right behind me! "It's over!"

Instinctively jumped out of the way when I saw Kakashi move towards us. When I looked back I saw that Kakashi had stabbed a kunai knife into Zabuza! But, it wasn't blood pouring from him... it was water. _"Water clone?"_ I thought in alarm as another Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi.

"Sensei! Behind you!" Naruto shouted but it was too late, before Kakashi even fully turned around Zabuza cut him in half.

**HOLY CHIZ!**

But Kakashi's body soon turned into water! Yes, that means Kakashi is still alive and kicking!

Man, even though I know what's going to happen I still get freaked out.

Zabuza looked surprised when he realized that it was just the water clone jutsu. I saw Kakashi hold a kunai knife at Zabuza's thought. "Don't move," he said. "This is the end!"

Heh Awesome! He copied Zabuza's technique even in fog as thick as this!

We all watched stunned that Kakashi had gotten Zabuza off guard like that. "This is the end," Kakashi said snapping me out of my stupor.

"WOW!" Naruto shouted. Suddenly Zabuza started laughing and then he got louder. I just knew Zabuza wouldn't lay down and beg...!

"Is this the end?" Zabuza asked. "You really don't get it do you?"

Uh... are we suppose to get something...Oh wait I remember now.

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: Bridge of Courage


	12. Chapter 12

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'_thinking'_

""people talking at the same time""

'**INNER SAKURA'**

(Ren POV during the opening song is in _Italic_)

Ren's favorite word: Epic

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"You're technique is nothing but an imitation... I'll never be defeated by a copycat ninja like you," Zabuza said and he chuckled.

"But you're pretty good. I see you copied my water clone technique when you said, 'I won't let anyone on my team die.' By making your clone speak as if it was the real one, you diverted my attention to the clone... while the real one used the Mist Concealment technique to hide and observe my movements.

However..." Suddenly another Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi! "I'm not that easy to fool." The Zabuza in front of Kakashi turned into water.

"That one's a fake, too!" Naruto shouted as Zabuza began to swing his giant weapon at Kakashi, luckily he ducked but Zabuza wasn't through yet! It was still kinda foggy for me…

Okay all good!

He planted his weapon in the ground and delivered a hard kick to Kakashi making him fly back! Zabuza took his giant weapon out of the ground and began running towards where he kicked our sensei but, he suddenly stopped short.

"Makibishi Spikes?" I heard him say. "How idiotic," he said as he jumped up and disappeared and Kakashi fell into the water.

"Sensei!" Naruto shouted.

"No Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura yelled.

"His hand-to-hand combat skill is superb, too," Sasuke said almost making me turn to him. I don't think now is the time to praise the enemy. I saw Kakashi finally surface.

Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi and started various hand signs while calling him a 'idiot.'

"Water Prison Jutsu!" he said and suddenly Kakashi was in some sort of giant blue water orb! Zabuza had one hand inside the water prison. "You fell for it," Zabuza laughed. "This is a special prison that you can't escape from. You give me a hard time when you're moving."

'_I knew he was good but not this good!' _Kakashi inwardly paniced.

"Ah! YOU CHEATER!" I yelled out making Zabuza look directly at me. My heart just stopped "…Wuh-oh."

"I'll take care of you later," he said never taking his eyes off of me. "But first, I think I'll get rid of your little brats."

Damn, me and my pie hole. I slapped my forehead…which was stupid because I had my hitai-ate headband on. Sasuke stood in front of me with a kunai knife in hand.

"Ren... you really need to stop using that big mouth of yours!" he said.

"Sasuke…please do shut up… I know that already!" I said. Zabuza said something that caught my attention.

"Water clone jutsu!" he said. Water... the water was forming into the shape of Zabuza and I think it started laughing!

"The three of you have forehead protectors on as if you think you're ninja. But ninja refers to someone who has gone through numerous life and death situations; in other words, you can call yourself a ninja when you appear in my bingo book."

_"I am getting tired of his little book! I am a ninja!"_ I thought frowning. _"I sang the 'Ninja of the Night' song and everything! I'm straight up ninja material!"_

"You four aren't ninja," Zabuza the clone said putting his hand up to his chest; it became a lot more foggy as he spoke. It became so bad that I couldn't see Zabuza anymore. Suddenly I could see Naruto getting kicked back, spitting up blood and off went his headband! Zabuza stepped on it.

"Naruto!" Sakura shouted.

"You're just a bunch of kids," Zabuza finished.

"Listen! Get the bridge builder and run!" Kakashi called to us. "You can't win this fight! He's using all of his power to keep me in this prison so he can only fight you with his water clone and the clone can not go far from the real body. So run!"

Hey…how the hell can he breathe in that thing?...Ren focus…Well damn we can't just leave Kakashi here that much is obvious.

'_Kyaa if I stay here Sasuke-kun and I will be killed!_' Sakura thought

'…_He's an elite ninja. A real elite ninja…I have to get away. I can't just lie here…there's no doubt about it! I'll die if I don't. he'll kill me!'_ Naruto tried to get up but yelled in pain. He looked down at his hand. The hand he swore an oath on.

Naruto stood up slowly and faced Zabuza. And suddenly, he starts charging at Zabuza with a loud battle cry!

"Naruto! NO!" Kakashi yelled.

"NARUTO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sakura screamed with her hands on her head.

Naruto was kicked back as soon as he reached Zabuza!

"Naruto! Are you okay?" I asked but then I noticed something... Naruto had his headband in his hand!

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TACKLING HIM BY YOURSELF? YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL! BUT GENIN-"

"Shut up Sakura!" I scolded.

Naruto struggled to stand all the while groaning in pain.

"His aim was the headband?" Sakura stated confused.

"Hey you, the freak with no eye brows..." Naruto said. I had to suppress a snicker. "Put this in your bingo book... the ninja who will become Hokage of the Hidden Village of Konoha one day..."

Naruto stood up straight and put on his head band. "He never backs down and his name is... Uzumaki Naruto!"

I sigh smiling. It's times like these when I remember that this is why Naruto is my favorite character.

"Sasuke, lend me your ear for a sec!"

"What do you want?" Sasuke said making me almost jump; I had forgot he was standing right in front of me!

"I have a plan!"

"I can't believe you want to work as a team," Sasuke said. _'Now he has a plan?'_

"Naruto, you're making me smile!" I said softly.

Sakura stared dumbly. _'I feel strange…This is so…Naruto is so…'_

"Alright guys... let's rock!" Naruto shouted.

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: The Secret Plan!

Bloopers

He planted his weapon in the ground and delivered a hard kick to Kakashi making him fly back!

(music starts play)** I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY~**

Director Mitsuki-sama- CUT! TOBI WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PLAYING WITH THE BOOM BOX!

Tobi-TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

"That one's a fake, too!" Naruto shouted as Zabuza began to swing his giant weapon at Kakashi, luckily he ducked but Zabuza wasn't through yet! It was still kinda foggy for me…

(suddenly somebody grabbed Ren's breasts)

Ren-EYYYAAAAAAAAAA!

Sasuke- TITTIES!

Director Hime-sama- SASUKE! GET BACK INTO CHARACTER! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TIL THE SHIPPUDEN SEQUEL!

Ren- pervert…

Sasuke-not my fault you have the biggest tits out of all the females in this arc.

Sakura-Sasuke-kun…

Damn, me and my pie hole.

SPLAT!

(Ren gets hit by a pie)

Director Hime-sama- TOBI!

Tobi-teeheehee

Ren- bleh! Blueberry…

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TACKLING HIM BY YOURSELF? YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL! BUT GENIN-"

THWACK!

(Sakura's head rolls on the ground)

Naruto-…

Sasuke-…

Ren-…

Kakashi-…

Zabuza-…

Tobi-…

Director Hime-sama-…sorry. BRING IN THE SAKURA-BOT #5


	13. Chapter 13

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'_thinking'_

""people talking at the same time""

'**INNER SAKURA'**

(Ren POV during the opening song is in _Italic_)

**¤.¸¸.·´¨"¤.¸¸.·´¨"¤.¸¸.·´¨"¤.¸¸.·´¨"¤.¸¸.·´¨"¤.¸¸.·´¨"¤.¸¸.·´¨"¤.¸¸**

"Naruto, what can I do?" I asked quietly.

"You stay and protect the bridge builder with Sakura!" Naruto said; I nodded but glared at the ground.

Ugh. I have to be a third wheel like Sakura?...OH MY GOSH! I'm gonna be like Sakura in this scene!

NOOOOO! (sob)

I walked in front of Tazuna and beside Sakura with a kunai knife in hand. "Stay behind me, now!" Sakura told him. I rolled my eyes. Why would he stand in front of us? So he can have a better view of Zabuza cutting his brains out with the oversized butter knife. It became quiet as we all waited for Naruto's attack. They didn't speak but I already knew the plan... by heart! I love this scene.

"Okay, ready... let's take this guy down!" Naruto said wiping off the blood running down his chin.

"Big words for such a little man!" Zabuza the clone laughed. "You think you have a chance at victory?"

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?' Kakashi yelled at us. "I told you to run away! The outcome of this battle was decided when I got caught! Our mission was to protect the bridge builder. Did you forget that?"

"Old man..." Naruto said turning towards the Tazuna.

"Don't worry, I caused all of this in the first place," he said. "I won't say that I want to survive no matter what. Sorry, everyone. Fight as much as you want."

"That's how it is," Sasuke said.

"Are you ready?" Naruto asked.

"Alright(cracks knuckles) let's do this!" I chirped. What? I wanted to say something, too ^_^! Zabuza started laughing louder and louder. Damn some people should just not laugh around other people.

"You sure don't learn, do you?" Zabuza asked. "Still pretending to be ninja?"

"Uh-oh... long speech!" I said rolling my eyes. Bad guys just love to hear themselves talk, don't they? I frowned suddenly remembered what he's gonna talk about.

"When I was your age, my hands were already soaked in blood," Zabuza continued; I see he chose to ignore what I said.

"The Demon Zabuza," Kakashi said.

"Oh, I see you've heard of me," Zabuza the real one said.

"A long time ago, the hidden Village of the Mist was known as the Village of the bloody Mist..." Kakashi began to explain. "In that village, there was an obstacle that existed to become a ninja."

"So you also know about the final test there," Zabuza said.

"The final test?" Naruto asked making Zabuza laugh. "Hey, what is that 'final test'?" Zabuza was still laughing up a storm; Oh will you just tell us and shut up already!

"Students killing each other," Zabuza finally said after he finally stopped laughing! "Friends who have eaten from the same pot are separated into groups of two and forced to fight each other... Until one of them is killed. This is done with friend that have helped each other, shared their dreams, and competed together."

"How horrifying..." I mumbled. You see. This is how serial killers get started. The teachers in the Mist must have been on crack as they taught.

"Ten years ago, the Hidden Village of Mist had to go through a reformation," Kakashi said. "Because in the previous year, a monster appeared that finally decided it. A small boy who had not even gained the right to become a ninja... Killed more than 100 of the candidates that year, and killed them all without hesitation."

"That was fun!" Zabuza said with a dreamy kinda voice... ew! You sick weirdo!

Suddenly he attacked, First he punched me in the stomach and I flew back spitting out a little blood and my hair fell out of its ponytail. CRAP! That hurt like hell!

Then he elbowing Sasuke sending him flying back. He then elbowed him in the gut making Sasuke also spit up blood! Zabuza still had his foot on Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura screamed.

Kakashi could only watch, veins visible on his forehead.

"Die!" Zabuza said still crushing Sasuke!

"Damn!" Naruto yelled putting up a hand sign. "SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

And then a lot of Narutos appeared, surrounding Zabuza. He grabbed the hilt of his weapon and looked at all the different Narutos. The Narutos each had a kunai knife in their hands. Sasuke had a chance to get away now that Zabuza's attention was diverted and he took it as the Naruto clones jumped on Zabuza, completely covering up his body. Suddenly the clones went flying!

"His skills are too advanced! There's no way they could win!" Tazuna said from behind me. One by one the clones started disappearing in clouds of smoke.

I was really looking for the real Naruto; I spotted him digging into his backpack. He threw something at Sasuke, which he caught. He turned around once and revealed the... "Demon Wind Shuriken!" Sasuke said... yeah that! "Windmill of Shadows!" We all watched in amazement, it looked so much cooler up close and personal!

"A shuriken won't work on me," Zabuza said.

Sasuke didn't bother to listen, instead he jumped up and threw the giant shuriken.

Oh but the shuriken went right past the fake and headed straight for the real one! Zabuza caught it through... guess he didn't see the second one coming his way! "HA! Can't catch that, ya eyebrowless cheater!" Zabuza suddenly jumped up at the last second. "Then again... he could dodge it..."

Behind him I saw the giant shuriken transform into Naruto! He held a kunai knife in his hand! "This is the spot!" Naruto shouted throwing the kunai knife! It head straight for Zabuza! Zabuza let go of the orb that was holding Kakashi in fear of getting it by the kunai. That's when the prison went bye-bye but, Zabuza didn't notice because he was about to attack Naruto with the giant shuriken!

"I'll destroy you!" Zabuza growled.

Though, Kakashi stopped the spinning of the shuriken with his fist! I saw blood trail down his finger as Naruto fell into the water. "Naruto, your plan was impressive," Kakashi said and I had to agree. "You have all sure grown." Naruto laughed and had a goofy grin on his face.

"I used the shadow replication technique to hide the fact that I transformed into the Demon Wind Shuriken. I didn't do it to defeat Zabuza,"

Naruto explained. "I left one of my clones, and I transformed into the giant shuriken. Then my clone threw me, now a shuriken, to Sasuke. Sasuke knew that it was me right after he caught it. Then he took out his own shuriken and used the shadow shuriken technique. I hid in the shadow of the real shuriken and went straight for Zabuza. I knew that I couldn't beat Zabuza just by that, of course. But I thought that if I could just break the water prison, maybe things would turn around... We were able to get rid of that water clone, so it was a success!"

"You Did it, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cheered.

"It was just luck," Sasuke said.

"It was luck?" bridge builder yelled.

"It was luck my butt, Emo Bunny!" I said. "Your teamwork was flawless! I'm very proud of you guys."

Sasuke smirked and Naruto still had that goofy grin. "Heh. I just got distracted and released the jutsu." Zabuza stated. But Kakashi corrected him.

"No...you were _forced _to release it. I'd like to tell you that...I don't fall for the same jutsu twice," Kakashi said. "So what are you going to do now?"

Kakashi looked over to me. And since I have a talent for reading through I contact and facial expressions. I was able to tell what he wanted me to do. My eyes widened then I smiled.

"Sakura! Ren! Don't let your guard down!" Sasuke said;

I ignored him and walked to a very shallow end of the water

. I saw that Kakashi had flung the giant shuriken away from Zabuza. Zabuza leapt back and so did Kakashi in opposite directions.

Just before Zabuza could perform hand signs, Kakashi did them first.

" Ox → Monkey → Hare → Rat → Boar → Rooster → Ox → Horse → Rooster → Rat → Tiger → Dog → Tiger → Snake → Ox → Sheep → Snake → Boar → Sheep → Rat → Monkey → Rooster → Dragon → Rooster → Ox → Horse → Sheep → Tiger → Snake → Boar → Rat → Monkey → Hare → Boar → Dragon → Sheep → Rat → Ox → Monkey → Rooster → Boar → Rat → Snake → Rooster- TORI SIGN OF THE BIRD!"

"Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu!"

The water formed into a dragon and attacked Zabuza, but as the water erupted the water it was heading straight for us too!

The water subsided. Suddenly a felt a jolt of pain shoot through my throat. I coughed up a large amount of blood. I felt faint and lost my balance.

"Ren!" Sasuke called out and caught me before I hit the ground.

Then…

Everything went black.

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: Who Are You? (no Ren did not lose her memory)

Ren's natural chakra element: Water and Darkness chakra

Bloopers

"A shuriken won't work on me," Zabuza said.

Sasuke didn't bother to listen, instead he jumped up and threw the giant shuriken.

THWACK

(DEMON WIND SHIRIKEN pierced through sakura's body)

Everybody-…

Sasuke- heh heh …oops my hand slipped.

Director mitsuki-sama- sigh. Bring in another Sakura bot…and make another few orders!

٠•● ƸӜƷ ●•·٠

I felt faint and lost my balance.

"Ren!" Sasuke called out and

THUD!

Ren-"OW! Damn it Sasuke you were suppose to catch me!"

Sasuke-…oops

Director mitsuki-sama-(slaps forehead) someone get Ren an icepack! Sasuke if you don't catch Ren the next take I swear I will turn this into SasuSaku!

Sasuke-NOOOOO! I'll be good!


	14. Chapter 14

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

'INNER SAKURA'

(Ren POV during the opening song is in Italic)

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Ooow…my throat hurts. Oh look! I gained conscious. I looked over to see Naruto, Sakura, Tazuna and his daughter who's name I don't know nor care about…have you ever noticed she looks like Sasuke's mom?

"Kakashi, she's awake." I turn my head and see Sasuke next to me. Holy crap when did he get there?

I sat up slowly and noticed that my hair was down…OH Yeah! My hair got ruined when we fought Zabuza…

"How come no one brought back my hair tie?" I asked. They all sweatdropped except Naruto.

"REN! After you passed out-"

"An ANBU came and took Zabuza's body."

"Yeah and-"

"Kakashi collapsed because he used the sharingan too much."

"…And-"

"We're at the bridge builder's house."

"…A-"

"And Zabuza is still alive and said ANBU was a fake."

"…"

"How did you now?" Sakura sneered.

"I was physically unconscious but I was mentally awake. (yeah that was a total lie but can't tell them the truth now can I?) So, when are we going to start preparing!" I asked Kakashi. "You can't move for a while... just how are we going to prepare?"

"I'm going to make you all go through some training," Kakashi said after he laughed of course.

"Training? Are you trying to kill us? A little bit of training won't help when Zabuza comes back!" Sakura screeched.

"Sakura, who saved me when I had a difficult time?" Kakashi asked; my mouth instantly turned into a frown.

"Naruto and Sasuke-kun..." Sakura answered bitterly while saying Naruto's name but sweetly saying Sasuke's name.

"You four are growing at a rapid rate," Kakashi said.

Not me. Especially not Sakura. All I did was stand there like her and she didn't even faint…oh my god I fainted during a fight…how damn pathetic can I get?

"Especially you, Naruto," Kakashi said.

'_Naruto? Well he has been acting more grown up then he used to but…"_ Sakura thought.

"Naruto was strong after he'd made that oath and came up with a brilliant plan! And Sasuke was already strong!" I said getting up from under the covers. "I was... just a third wheel along with Sakura( Sakura glared at me ) but…at least she didn't pass out." I began to walk out but Kakashi stopped me with his voice.

"Ren, you followed the my order exactly! And you're still young so that kind of stress on your body would obviously drain your chakra," he said.

No. it was my damn illness that got in the way.

"That's... just not good enough for me..." I said before continuing my way out. On the way I passed the boy: Inari who had listened to our conversation.

Meh, who cares. I need some fresh air. I heard Naruto yelling, that boy... Inari must have said something he didn't like. Honestly Naruto. Anger. Management. Counseling.

Back with the others

'_Something must really be wrong with Ren!' _Naruto thought. _'But, that brat called me dumb and I'm not going to let that slide!' _Naruto went out of the room stomping his feet.

"_Tsk. Ren is being such a drama queen. And I was NOT a third wheel. I am a powerful kunoichi! CHA!" _Sakura thought.

'_Ren's been acting strange ever since we became genin..."_ Sasuke thought staring at the floor. _"I wonder what has gotten into her…and before she fainted she coughed up more blood than she should have, something's obviously wrong"_

"Sasuke, bring Ren back," Kakashi said making Sasuke's attention turn to him. "We can't start training without her."

"WAIT! Why does Sasuke-kun have to go look for Ren?" guess who that was.

"Because I said so, Sakura. Sasuke, GO."

"Yeah sure," Sasuke said getting up and walking out of the room.

Back to Ren

I was sitting on the dock having a perfect view of the ocean. It was beautiful, I always like water but never liked getting wet, like how people bake cupcakes but they only eat the frosting…Man, I hate that! I feel like singing for some reason…Meh.

I waited for you today

But you didn't show

No no no

I needed You today

So where did You go?

You told me to call

Said You'd be there

And though I haven't seen You

Are You still there?

_[Chorus:]_

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel You by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You

And I can't explain why

Such a deep, deep reassurance

You've placed in my life

We cannot separate

'Cause You're part of me

And though You're invisible

I'll trust the unseen

We cannot separate

You're part of me

And though You're invisible

I'll trust the unseen

"Naruto was right. You are pretty good."

Holy crap! I turned around to see Sasuke. Hmmm he's not the kind of person who checks up on someone to see if they're okay so…hmm you know what, I'm gonna give this guy a second chance, originally I didn't like him, but after sometime with him, I guess he's pretty cool.

"I'm not going to training yet so skip the bitch lecture and go wait for me with the others."

He glared at me. "No. we're training now." He grabbed my wrist and was about to pull me up but I pulled him down before he could.

He ended up landing on my lap.

"Not only are you an Emo-Bunny, you're a PERVERTED Emo-Bunny."

I swear I saw a blush on his face as he got off my lap.

We sat quietly for a moment…another...

"Do you want to avenge someone, too?" he asked. Woah. Didn't see that coming.

"How'd you come up with that?" I asked

"Well from what you told me during Kakashi's test and how you reacted earlier, the pieces came together."

Wow. He may be a antisocial jerk but he is one smart cookie. I was silent for a moment.

"For revenge…I don't know yet, do you?" I asked even though I (and everyone else who knows about NARUTO) already knew.

"Yeah," he answered softly.

"Do you... wanna talk about it?" I asked, I'm not good at talks like this but I'll try.

"My clan was killed by someone I trusted and I'm out for revenge," Sasuke said bowing his head after of a few minutes.

Damn. I can't believe he told me that…even though I already know…but I feel a bit closer to him now. I could feel my eyes turn yellow.

"What about you?" Sasuke said looking at me.

Now they're dark blue.

"Oh... um... When I was six someone killed my parents. I'm alone because the other members of my clan don't see me as family and I'm an only child. I don't know who it was or the reason they murdered my mom and dad but when I find him I'll ask why he did what he did and see what goes from there."

"Ren... I never knew that about you," Sasuke said.

You never asked.

"It's almost like, you're like me."

"Yeah, I guess so." I said with a laugh.

"Hey can you be so care free all the time," Sasuke asked.

Because I'm a random moron.

"Easy, I don't bottle things up its bad for your health, I like to be positive but not unrealistic…most of the time." I answered.

"I think Naruto has the same idea. That's why he is the loudest ninja I've ever known and I think he does all that stupid stuff for attention I mean he has a similar situation as us…no family"

"I guess... you're right," Sasuke muttered.

"Of course I am! I'm always right! I'm the coolest and smartest ninja you will ever get the liberty to know!" I said standing up with my fists in the air.

"Mhmm," Sasuke said also standing up.

I face him. I am about to do something the world has always wanted to do.

"Sasuke can I do something to your hair? Just for a second!"

He looked at me weirdly. "…uh…okay?"

Yay!

I walk behind him and smooth the back of his hair down.

…

…

FWING!

All the spikes that were patted down flung back up in there original place.

Oh.

My.

Flabbergastedness.

That was freaking AWESOME! I was giggling in my hands, trembling.

Sasuke turned around with a light blush, ruffling the back of his hair.

"Can we just go already?" he asked _'She just loves to torture me. Doesn't she?'_

"Ahahaha o-okay heh heh heh."

I began to walk away, but I felt a sudden yank on my hair!

"Ren-" he began to say, but I interrupted him.

"What was that for?" I yelled turning around when he let go of my hair. That really hurt! What was he? Six? "What'd you go and do th-"

"Your hair looks better this way," he said meaning he liked my hair down rather than in a ponytail and stopping me from saying anything else. Wha...? Did he just...?

"It looks…nicer down." Sasuke said as he ran his fingers through it.

"Uh... T-Thank you." I said. Why did he say that? That's so embarrassing! Why is he acting so strange? Sasuke…you unpredictable weird person!" I rubbed at my cheek hoping I wasn't blushing and frown. "Did ya have to yank it so hard?" I could have sworn that Sasuke rolled his eyes at me.

"Ren."

"Yeah?"

"Your eyes are pink…what does that mean?"

Oh. Crud.

I started running back to the house.

"Last one back is a vampire Nazi!"

"Ren!"

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TBC

No Flaming

Next time: Training Commences


	15. Chapter 15

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

'INNER SAKURA'

(Ren POV during the opening song is in Italic)

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

"Okay, now that everyone's here... we can begin!" Kakashi said.

"Roger!" Naruto shouted. Man, Can't that boy EVER shut up!

Stupid Sasuke I would have won if I hadn't tripped over that rock. I crossed my arms while glaring at random things that couldn't glare back. Stupid Emo-Bunny…

"But before that, let me once again talk about Chakra, the base for the ability as a ninja," Kakashi said, he had crutches to support him.

Noooo! Not the stupid chakra talk!

"At a time like this?" Sasuke asked.

"I already know about that," Naruto said smiling. "Catra, right?"

He just said chakra you little wanker.

"It's Chakra!" Kakashi corrected.

"AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A NINJA? DID YOU SLEEP THROUGH EVERY CLASS YOU EVER TOOK?" Sakura shouted.

Shut up you evil pink haired little witch.

"Okay, Sakura, can you explain to your ignorant teammate?" Kakashi asked.

"Kakashi why can't you just tell us yourself and stop wasting your and our time." I questioned.

"Fine! I'll explain it the best way I can! Pay attention, Naruto! I'm only going to explain this once!" Sakura growled.

"Yes ma'am!" Naruto saluted.

"Chakra is essential to even the most basic jutsu; it is a mixture of the physical energy present in every cell of the body and the spiritual energy gained from exercise and experience. Once mixed and molded, it can be channeled through the chakra circulatory system, which is to chakra as the regular circulatory system is to blood, to any of the 361 chakra points (called tenketsu) in the body. Through various methods, the most common of which is hand seals, the chakra can then be manipulated to create an effect that would not be possible otherwise, such as walking on water, exhaling fire or creating illusions." Sakura explained

Kakashi looked slightly impressed but Naruto looked as if static was going through his brain

Guess I should dumb it down for him.

"Chakra is epic energy every ninja has to perform jutsus but you need a lot of focus to control it…and one way to release chakra into a jutsu are hand signs, for example, the tiger hand seal. Kakashi-sensei used this hand sign during our pass or fail test. You do remember, right Naruto?" I asked. Naruto just grumbled while Sasuke and I smirked and Sakura glared at Naruto.

"Correct. Iruka-sensei taught his students well," Kakashi said. Actually I don't remember a single thing Iruka has ever said, but I'm not gonna tell them that.

"What's with that? You can just learn that with your body even if you don't understand the hard stuff," Naruto said.

Like in Hoggwarts…or Game of Thrones!

"Exactly what Naruto said. We're able to use techniques anyway," Sasuke agreed.

Oh my God IT'S THE APACOLIPSE!

"No, you guys aren't able to use your Chakra completely," Kakashi said.

"What?" Naruto sounded upset.

"Just listen up. Like Sakura said, molding the Chakra means to... extract energies from both the body and the spirit, then mixing them up in your body," Kakashi explained.

"And the amount of each energy will differ from the type of technique you wish to execute. In other words, the mixing will be different. You are not able to use your Chakra effectively. Even if you are able to mold a large amount of Chakra... If you cannot control the balance, your technique will only be half as effective or not executed at all. Wasting energy will create a weakness of not being able to fight for a long time."

Man, these people talk to much.

"So what should I do?" Naruto asked.

"You're going to learn how to control it with your body," Kakashi said. "You must go through rigorous training where you put your life on the line."

So…he's trying to kill us?

"What are we going to be doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Climb a tree."

"Climb a tree?" Sasuke and Naruto said in unison.

"Climb a tree." I said. They all stared at me. What? Can't I say it?

"That's right. But it's not ordinary tree climbing," Kakashi said. "You're going to climb without using your hands."

'_That sounds like fun.' _Naruto thought.

"How are we going to do that?" Sakura asked.

"Just watch," Kakashi said and then formed a hand sign. I watched him walk up a tree easily with just his feet.

"He's climbing...with only his feet" Naruto said.

"That is SO epic!" I murmured.

"This is how," Kakashi said, he was now standing upside down on a branch. "Gather your Chakra at the bottom of your feet and make it attach to the tree trunk. Something like this is possible if you use Chakra."

"Alright! Let's get it started!" I said. "I'm already fired up!"

"The main purpose of this training is to accumulate the right amount of molded Chakra in the right location," Kakashi said.

"This is difficult even for a well-trained ninja. The amount of Chakra used for this tree climbing exercise is quite subtle. And the most difficult place to concentrate Chakra is said to be behind the feet. In other words, if you master this, you can learn any kind of technique. In theory, that is. The second purpose is to maintain that molded Chakra. Most of the time, ninja mold their Chakra during battle. In that situation, it is even more difficult to maintain that Chakra. Well, it's not like anything is going to happen even if I give this lecture. I need all of you to learn it with your bodies." Kakashi threw three kunai at us, one landed in front of each of us.

"Use that knife to mark where you are able to climb up to with your current ability. Then try to make a new mark above that mark. You guys aren't good enough to climb by walking, so run to give yourself a boost, and get used to it. Got it?"

ZZZZZzzzzzz HUH? Oh, he finally stopped talking.

"This training is too easy for me!" Naruto bragged pulling the kunai out of the ground; I also pulled mine out of the ground. "Since I'm the guy who is growing the most right now!"

"Naruto." He looked at me.

"I know we're outside…but inside voices." I said basically telling him to shut up.

Naruto…I love you man, but you need a modesty and chill pill.

"Okay, Try and climb up any of the trees," Kakashi said. Okay, since this was easy for Sakura... then it should be easy for me since I'm a girl too, right? I made the hand sign that I saw Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke do and concentrated hard.

Please work! Not too little…not to much…Oh! Remember to focus on the tree…only the tree…nothing else…

"All right! Let's go!" Naruto said, I guess he had finished, Sasuke and Sakura was done too. We all ran to a different tree!

I was going higher and higher! Oh my gosh I'm doing IT! Wow! This is so awesome! I used to run up walls when I was small, I thought I was so cool! Though, I didn't get very far...

I reached I bit higher than Sakura when I felt my feet slipping and quickly marked the tree. Sorry tree.(hugs)

I grabbed a branch with my legs and now I was upside down hanging by my feet.

"This is easier than I thought!" Sakura squealed.

"Wow! I can't believe I got higher than Sasuke!" I shouted cheerfully.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted up to her…hey!

"No you didn't, you're on the lowest branch of that tree," Sasuke stated to me.

"Nah! My mark is all the way up there!" I said pointing up with my kunai. "I just lost concentration and the bark broke, I guess."

"Oh? It looks like the females of our team has more Chakra control than the rest," Kakashi said.

"Yes! I'm ahead of the game!" I yelled punching the air.

"Wow, Sakura-chan! That's something I expected from the girl I have high hopes for!" Naruto said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah save your butt kissing and someone help me down before I break my head!" I yelled, I could already feel my legs slipping! "Wahhhh!" I began screaming because I had started falling!

"Am I dead?" I said opening my eyes and to my surprise Sasuke had a hold of me! "Hey, let me go Emo-Bunny!" I said struggling. I felt my eyes turn PINK AGAIN.

"I was only helping,…You're eyes are pink again" he said dropping me on my butt.

"Well Thank you…and no they're not."

Why did Sasuke...? I thought it was going to be Naruto or my **teacher**! But, Sasuke? I felt my face go hot. What is wrong with me? Don't tell me I'm blushing!

"Oh whatever back to work!" I replied rubbing the back of my head.

"Maybe Ren or Sakura, and not someone else, is the closet one to becoming a Hokage right now. The Uchiha clan isn't as great as I thought, either," Kakashi said.

"Ha you just got pawned by your teacher!" I laughed.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI! HOW COULD YOU?" Sakura shouted. _'Sasuke-kun will hate me!'_

I saw Naruto and Sasuke look at each other.

"All right, I'm going to catch up to Sasuke first," Naruto said. "I'm going to do this!"

"Yeah, you go Naruto! Now you, Sasuke!" I said looking at Sasuke expectantly; he just glared. I rolled my eyes. "Well, excuse me! For trying to fire up my teammates!"

"You four, I want you to continue," Kakashi said.

"Hai Kakashi-sensei!" all of us said except Sasuke and I dropped the 'sensei' and continued with our training.

It had been a few hours since we started training and we were still going.

"I need a fricken energizer bunny or a redbull cause I could use some wings right now!" I said, I was leaning against a tree panting like a dog. I think I had mastered the Chakra control, but Kakashi didn't say anything. Sasuke was slowly going higher Sakura too, but Naruto... had multiple bumps on his head. All of us were panting like dogs actually!

"What the heck is an energizer bunny?" Sasuke asked still panting.

"A bull can give you wings?" Sakura questioned.

"You... wouldn't... understand," I said in between pants. This was so damn frustrating. "Now keep moving!"

"You keep moving!" he said as he picked up his kunai and ran up the tree again. I mimicked him but made incoherent noises.

"Damn it!" Naruto shouted making me turn my attention to him. Naruto hasn't been doing so good though... poor him. Wait he's walking toward…NOOOO! Naruto don't go to her! I'll help you! NOOOOOOOO!-aw…

I looked away. I'm sad. I try my best to be his friend but he still chooses Sakura.

I look at my tree and look at all the marks. Tears come to my eyes.

When in doubt, hug a tree.

And I did.

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

TBC

No Flaming

Next time: the emblem of courage and a little extra


	16. Chapter 16

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

Ugh. My entire body hurts from last night's training. It's fun but…the after affect sucks. I get up from my sleeping bag rubbing my silver eyes and look through Sakura's kunai bag.

I knew it.

I take out two of her lip glosses. Papaya and lemons. Hey don't judge me, they're actually really good together.

I enter the kitchen and see Tazuna's daughter making breakfast I offered to help but she said that's she's fine…I notice that whenever someone offers help in the kitchen the other person says 'No, it's fine.'

I sit down at the table and start applying. One layer of papaya. One layer of lemon. Lemon on lower lip. Papaya on upper lip. Lemon on upper lip. Papaya on lower lip. Now mesh together.

Sasuke and Naruto also enter the kitchen while I was making weird faces.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Nice face."

"Nice duck butt hair."

He growled at the retort. Yeah, I know that was a cheap shot but it's too damn early in the morning to be thinking. Sasuke and Naruto sat down at the table with me. I continued to apply the lipgloss. Why? Because I was bored.

"Ren, why are you putting make up on? You're a ninja! We're on a mission!" Naruto asked/shouted.

Boys just don't get it. I sighed. "One. Because my lips are a bit chapped and there is no chap stick so I stole Sakura's lip gloss. And B papayas ( I held up the papaya LG stick) and lemons (then held up the lemon LG stick) are AWESOME together."

"You said one and B." Sasuke grumbled crossing his arm

"Same difference Mr. Perfect." I scoffed.

"Papayas and lemons?" Naruto said in a confused voice.

"Yeah wanna taste?" I asked with an evil plan in mind if he took the bait.

"YES." Naruto said instantly with a large grin. Naru-chan this is what you get for being a pervert.

"Okay close your eyes!" I say in a sweet voice. As he did so I saw in the corner of my eye I saw Sasuke tense and glare at Naruto. I wipe some of the lip gloss onto my hand and wipe it on to his lips really hard! So hard he fell down from the force.

HA! I saw that on ICarly and I thought it was funny. Sasuke relaxed again and smirked at my evilness. Naruto sat back up and rubbed his lips.

"I think you bent my teeth."

"You deserve your teeth bent." I replied.

Sakura suddenly came in. Aw. She ruined the atmosphere. She froze instantly and glared at Naruto. We all looked at her confused as an evil aura surrounded her. See, she is a she devil.

"Naruto…YOU MAKE-UP STEALING FREAK!" She screamed before she attacked.

Who says mornings are boring?

~after breakfast~

Later that day I was on the incomplete bridge protecting the bridge builders with Sakura...wee, what fun. Sasuke and Naruto was still training; they hadn't mastered the Chakra control so she and I were the ones doing the protecting today. I surpressed a yawned because Sakura let out a yawn as I watched everyone work. "You sure seem bored all by yourselves," a voice said, it was Tazuna. "Where's that blond kid and the other one?" he asked.

"They're still training," I answered.

"You don't have to?" he asked.

"No, I the only one that mastered the Chakra control," Sakura answered grinning.

"I mastered it too." I said.

"Really?" he asked as if he didn't believe us!

"Why did you have to say it like that? Sexist fool…" I yelled. Well nothing else happens that eventful so let's just skip a few parts!

"Hey, old man!" I said walking in back of him. "Where are we going again. We were off the bridge and now we were walking somewhere.

"I'm going to bring home dinner," he answered. As we walked through the village I saw two kids younger than me sitting with their heads down. Sakura and I looked at each other concerned.

This village is suffering. So sad.

"Here we are," Tazuna got my attention.

We walked into the store but it was completely empty. Well, not completely but it wasn't Acme that was for sure! I was just looking around until-

"HYAAH-! PERVERT!" Sakura screeched as she kicked some dude. WAIT! That dude was just trying to pick pocket her. Stupid pinkie.

I walked up behind her and smacked the back of her head.

"OW WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" She yelled.

"HE WASN'T GROPING YOU, YOU CONSEATED AIR HEAD! HE'S POOR SO HE TRIED TO PICK POCKET YOU!" I yelled back my eyes red. Gosh, who would want to feel you up you little- sigh

"You sure surprised me," Tazuna said.

"Yeah, well we're ninja" I said. We had already walked out of the store after he bought some food. Suddenly I feel that my clothes were being yanked, I turned around a saw a young child.

"Please?" the child said holding her hand.

"..." I smiled then reached into my bag and pulled out a rice ball a candy and a few coins. "Here. I don't need these anyway."

"Thank you!" the child said. I patted her head and smiled again.

"Don't worry! Me and my friends are going to get Gato soon!" I said, the child nodded and then ran off. Stop world hunger for the children.

"It's been like this since Gato came," Tazuna said as I stared at the child's back until she was completely gone. "All the adults have lost hope here. That's why... we need that bridge now! A symbol of courage. We need the people to lose their fear and regain the desire to stand up for themselves. If that bridge... can just be completed! The city would return to that time... The people would return to how they used to be..."

"Come on, old man... let's go," I said walking away. "You need your rest if you're ever going to complete the bridge and save the day!"

"Okay, This is just nasty!" I said watching Naruto and Sasuke eat like animals through my yellowish lime green eyes. I've seen my guy friend do it a couple of times, but these two... they're twice as bad!

"You two slow down?" Sakura said.

"MORE, PLEASE!" they both shouted at the same time while standing up and holding their bowls in the air. They glared at each other and then just threw up! Just like that! I sighed and rubbed they're backs. "It's okay. I've gotcha…but if you puke on me you're in trouble."

"Stop eating if you're going to hurl it back up!" Saukra screamed for once I actually agree with her.

"I have to eat," Sasuke said wiping his mouth.

"Yeah, we have to, no matter what," Naruto said. "Because we have to become stronger as fast as possible."

"Yup, yup," Kakashi agreed.

"Yeah, but if you hurl it back up each time you could get diagnosed with a eating disorder!" I said. Sasuke and Naruto stiffened probably think of them having a 'girly' disease. Asses. "And then you'll only get weaker and be totally useless."

They started eating slowly. Good boys.

"Hey, that picture," Sakura said looking at the wall. "Why is it torn like that?"

"Yeah, it looks like it was torn on purpose," I said. It was silent for a few moments. Way to go, Sakura. You ruined the mood.

"He was my husband," Tazuna's daughter said but she didn't stop washing the dishes.

Oh no! Sad and tragic story coming up!

"The man once called the hero of the city..." Tazuna started, but then the little boy, Inari, left without a word. Tazuna's daughter quickly followed after him.

"Father! I told you not to talk about that man in front of Inari!" she said as she left.

"There seems to be a story behind this," Kakashi said.

"Story...?" I thought and then I got up. This story made me upset. A flash of my dead father on the floor covered in his own blood came to mind. My eyes turned blue. I left the room not bothering to excuse myself.

"Inari had a father not related by blood," Tazuna started.

I closed the door behind me hop onto the bed and fall asleep.

Dream~

Dude, where the hell am I and why am I in some slutty French maid outfit? I look around to see that I'm in the hundred acre woods Christopher Robin played with pooh and piglet and all them while barney was in a fettle position while the cookie monster was trying to make cookies using a spoon some cookie dough and a lighter. This is one weird ass dream.

"EEEEEK!" I screamed. SOMEONE JUST PINCHED MY BUTT! I turn around to see…SASUKE?

He was wearing bunny ears and tail in a sexy school girl cosplay thing. I gave him a WTF look.

"Hello Ren-chan! The sun looks beautiful doesn't it?" he said in a cheery voice.

I look up at the sun and jaw dropped. It was the sun from the anime soul eater! Damn that thing is ugly. I turn back to Sasuke to see him nibbling on a tomato.

"No the sun is not beautiful! And were you the one that pinched my bottom? I knew you were some closet pervert! You're lucky I have a skirt on or else I would…ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?" I yelled through I microphone as I see him totally zoned out.

He snapped out of it and smiled. "I was thinking about our wedding day."

Emo-Bunny say Wha?

"What?"

"Yes! I was thinking we should have a pink and blue bunny themed wedding and…NARUTOS! I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY TOMATO PATCH AND YOU! ELMO STOP SINGING ABOUT MY TOMATOS!"

OH MY GOD…there was a whole bunch of Naruto chibies in cute duckie yukatas playing in Sasuke's tomato patch and Elmo playing the piano singing 'tomatos' in a jingle bells tone.

While Sakura was having a picnic with Card captor Sakura, Kyou koi wo hajimemasu Sakura, Sakura hime kaden Sakura, and …some other Sakura character I don't know.

Suddenly Sasuke glomped me and landed a big sloppy kiss on my cheek. WHAT THE HECK? SASUKE LOST HIS MARBLES!

"I love you, Ren-chan."

"WHAT?"

WOAH!

OKAY! That is the last time I eat so much before sleeping! That dream reeeeaaally has me messed up! I mean, is it just me or am I losing it! But let's forget about that! I have to keep training. Since Zabuza and that boy, Haku, might attack any time soon! I can't worry about stuff like that! Stupid dream...!

…I want pie…BUT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PIE IN THE NARUTO UNIVERSE!

TBC

REVIEW

NO FLAMMING

Questions for the readers!

Out of all 16chapters what scene do you think is funniest? Don't say all of it was funny.

Should Ren get a pet animal?


	17. Chapter 17

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

Sakura walked into the kitchen where she saw that Kakashi, me, Sasuke, Tazuna and his daughter were already up. "Morning..." She yawned while rubbing the rest of the sleep out of her eyes.

I rolled my eyes. I know I complain about her a lot but the way she walked in here like she owned the place bugs me. She sat down at the table and food was placed in front of me and her. Yup. I wanted seconds. "Thanks ma'am!" I said quickly eating.

"Naruto didn't come back last night?" Tazuna asked.

"I do hope Naruto-kun's all right," Tazuna's daughter said. "A child all alone in the woods overnight..."

"Don't worry," Kakashi said. "He might not look it, but he's a true ninja."

"I don't know," Sakura said. "It wouldn't surprise me if that moron was dead somewhere." I gasped over dramatically while putting a hand over my chest.

"How could you say something like that about you own teammate?" I asked getting up and pulling Sasuke's hair…bangs…thing.

"Ow! What are you doing?" he asked.

"Because of your lack of defence for our dear blonde teammate, we're going to find him!" I said going for the door still holding on to Sasuke.

"Hey don't pull Sasuke-kun's hair!"

"Shut up pinkie!"

"What about your breakfast?" Sasuke asked.

"Already ate! Now, let's go!" I said opening the door, of course Sasuke followed seeing as though I still had a grip on his hair bang thing.

"That was fast..." I heard him mutter.

"So, I like to eat and I hate to waste food."

Minutes passed by. Yawn.

"Ren... Ren... REN!" Sauke yelled.

"WHAT?" I yelled back.

"You still have my hair!" he yelled.

Twink.

"Oh, hahaha! Sorry," I said letting go. Well not my fault I forgot!

"Sakura, what was the matter with you yesterday?" Sasuke suddenly asked.

After I woke up from that REALLY weird dream I freaked out and acted like a nut case. Seriously I was so messed up that the authoress isn't even going to bother with a flashback.

"It was just a weird dream, Emo-bunny!" I said smiling.

I kept following Sasuke, it had gotten really quiet... and it was driving me crazy!

Though, before I could start singing 'born this way' by Lady Gaga, because that's what I do when I'm bored, AND just so we're clear Gaga totally stole that song from Madona. I saw a woman coming towards us. Wait… Haku! I felt like doing something stupid so when Sasuke walked right passed him, I walked right in front of him. "Hey, are you a boy?" I asked. "Or just a really flat-chested woman?" I asked touching his chest and neck, of course I didn't feel nothing seeing as how Haku was a guy!

"Ren!" Sasuke yelled at me as he walked over. "What are you doing?"

"Hey, I was just trying to solve the world's greatest mystery!" I said innocently.

"I'm sorry ma'am, she just hasn't taken her pills yet," Sasuke said grabbing my hands.

"PILLS? Well that's true I-" but before I could finish, Sasuke put his hand over my mouth.

"Yes, pills!" he snapped telling me to shut up; he let go slowly.

"Oh yeah, pills! I am a crack head! So many pretty colors" I said with a sloppy smile. How can a smile be sloppy? I don't know.

"I am a boy," Haku said making Sasuke flinch. I saw that he had a 'OMFG' look on his face. "HA!" I laughed, jabbing a finger in his face. "Now if you'll excuse me," he said and continued walking away.

"Come on Sasuke! It looks like you need those pills now! And maybe get you tested again." I said dragging him along. I saw Naruto up ahead shaking his head and mumbling incoherent things. I don't even think he heard us coming. Sasuke walked over and punched Naruto over the head to get his attention... I think...Aw they're bonding.

"Hey! What the hell?" Naruto shouted grabbing his head.

"Hey, Naruto!" I said stepping from behind Sasuke.

"Hey Ren! Did Sakura-chan wonder how I was doing?" Naruto asked.

"No she thought you died and think nothing of it?" I said. " But I came to check on you! That's the reason Sasuke's here too!"

"No! You dragged me here against my will," Sasuke corrected.

"Same difference."

"So, how are you doing?" I asked curious. He just gave me a big goofy grin. "Well, are you going to tell us?"

"You'll see!" he answered.

"Sasuke-kun! Naruto! Ren!" a voice got my attention, it sounded like Sakura. Joy.

"Everybody hide!" Naruto said.

"Mkay!" I quickly went up a tree and I guess Naruto did too because I didn't see him on the ground anymore.

Sasuke was still there though. "You guys are idiots," I heard him say before he ran off somewhere. You're an idiot you little twink. Soon after, I saw Kakashi and Sakura walk towards where the three of us once were standing.

"Sasuke, Naruto, Ren!" Kakashi called again.

Why am I always called last? Sexist jerk.

Suddenly, I saw a kunai knife lodge in front of Kakashi and looked up to see who threw it... of course it was Naruto! And he was way up high in the tree! "He's improved!" I thought smiling lightly.

"What do you think?" Naruto shouted down at Kakashi. "Look how far I can climb now!" I saw him stand up on the branch he was on and grin like an idiot! But then it looked as if he was about to fall! ...He stopped falling because he had used his Chakra to cling to the bottom of the branch. "Just kidding!" he said smiling. "You fell for it! You fell for it!" he laughed loudly.

"NARUTO YOU IDIOT!" Sakura shouted.

INNER SAKURA: MY HEART BEATS FAST ONLY FOR SASUKE-KUN

But I saw that his feet came loose! I quickly jumped over to his tree because it was so close to mine. I grabbed him and one of his legs, and used Chakra to stick to the bottom of the branch. He was safe from that nasty fall. "Thank you god.," I muttered.

"You had the same idea, too?" I didn't even know Sasuke was right next to me doing the same thing I was... saving Naruto from that nasty fall.

I grinned at him before replying. "I guess so, I couldn't help myself."

"Hn..." oh no, he's doing the Hn thingy!

"Naruto, stop being so reckless all the time!" Sakura yelled at the loud ninja.

"He is such a moron," Sasuke said.

"Smooth move dummy." I couldn't help it. Peer pressure.

"Sakura-chan... Sasuke...Ren" I heard Naruto say.

Again my name is said last.

"You three are really growing!" I heard Kakashi call up to us. "And working together as a team, too! I'm impressed." I smiled at the compliment. I love compliments from adults!

It had changed from day to night quickly. Or that's what it seemed like. Sakura went back to the house since she was the best, or so she says, the three of us were still running up trees when the moon had come out. Minutes later all of us had reached the hightest point of the highest tree in the forest, even Naruto! And we didn't fall once! I'm so proud of us! WOOHOO! EPICNESS!

"Shall we go back now?" Sasuke asked.

I nodded my head as Naruto shouted 'yeah!' We all climbed down at a slow place, I guess they were as tired as me. By the time we reached the bottom, Naruto collapsed. "Sasuke~ help me carry Naruto," I said going over to Naruto's tired body.

"That would be nice," Naruto mumbled as I put his arm over my shoulder.

"Dope," Sasuke said doing the same with Naruto's left side.

"Thanks, Ren... Sasuke!" Naruto said panting lightly just like Sasuke and I were.

"Don't sweat it!" I said. "Now let's get to Tazuna's so we can eat!"

We all walked through the door that I had opened. Everyone was looking at us and our tired bodies. "You're not gonna help, sensei?" I asked.

"What this? You're super dirty and worn out," Tazuna said.

"All three of us... made it to the top!" Naruto said.

"That's good," Kakashi said. "Naruto, Sasuke... Tomorrow you'll protect Tazuna-san too."

Naruto smiled and then yelled. "Yeah!" he moved his body making all three of us fall back to the floor.

"You're a total moron!" Sasuke said. I stayed silent as they bickered. It took a few minutes til I spoke.

"Sasuke."

"Hn?"

"Get your hand OFF my BOOB!" I seethed glaring at him with red eyes

He looked down to that in fact he had a grip on my right breast. He jumped back in shock and embarrassment.

"Hahah Sasuke-hentai!" Naruto laughed.

"You have no right to say that Naru-chan."

"YOU-"

"Well, I'm ready to eat!" I said clapping my hands cutting Sakura off.

"The bridge is nearing completion, all thanks to you guys," Tazuna said as Sasuke and Naruto sat down too.

"But please be careful not to overdo it," Tazuna's daughter said.

"I wanted to ask you earlier, but... Why are you still here when I lied about this mission?" Tazuna asked. Though, I was too busying eating to hear what Kakashi's answer was. Naruto was already finished and so was Sasuke.

"Man, they can eat fast!" I thought. I finished eating and stood up. "May, I be excused?" I said, Kakashi nodded so I left the room and went upstairs to the room I was sleeping in.

I knew what was going to happen next between Naruto and the kid so I didn't need to stay.

Tomorrow…Tomorrow we would fight Zabuza…even though I know what will happen…

I'm still scared.

TBC

REVIEW

NO FLAMMING


	18. Chapter 18

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

…This is so boring. I've been sitting here for what seems like forever but it's only been an hour and a half. Again I am so bored. I wonder what the rest of team 7 is doing…Sasuke's probably being the emo-bunny that he is, Naruto and Sakura…I don't know what they might be doing…wait…what if…NOOOOO I MUST STOP ANY NARUSAKU ( XP ) ACTION!

I jump off the bed and run to the door but then the door opened and-

THUD!

"OW! Mother of- Gyaaaah!" I yelped holding my head and foot. That fricking HURT! I skinned my toe and there's a bruise forming on my forehead.

"You're a lot dumber than I thought."

I looked up to see Emo-bunny! "Sasuke, what the heck man? Don't just open doors like that!"

He gave me a weird look then I thought about what I just said. Wow that hit to the head must have affected my brain.

"Shut up." I interrupted Sasuke before he even said anything. I look down at my foot and see that its already healed. YAY!

"Your foot alright?" He asked.

"YUP! I'm all good now!" I said showing him my foot.

"Hn," Sasuke muttered. He was about to leave till he tensed up and fell to the ground. I just stared at him…what?...oh fine I'll help him out.

I grabbed a kunai pierced my wrist lightly and kneeled down in front of him, offering my wrist. He looked at my wrist then at me…

"What?"

"What are you doing?" he asked.

Seriously. Was he not listening to me in chapter 10? Gosh. "Just drink it you'll feel better." Hey where'd that vile I had go? Oh well.

He grabbed my arm and brought my bleeding wrist to his mouth. Ick. This feels sooo weird! Make it stop!

He soon released my arm and whipped some stray blood off of his lip. There was an awkward silence for a while until Sasuke stood back up stretching his limbs obviously feeling better.

"…Thanks." He whispered looking away from me. I smiled.

"No problem Emo-bunny! I am just so incredible and nice I had to help!" I said in a mocking tone.

"Hn," Sasuke said.

I looked down at my wrist and- OMG Sasuke accidentally left a hickey thing on my wrist!

"Alright thanks for stopping by," I said. "Now get out of my room, pervert!" showing him the hickey.

"WHAT?"

"He's used his body to the limit. I don't think Naruto will be able to move today," Kakashi said. "Let's let him sleep in."

"Kakashi-san, your body is okay?" Tazuna's daughter asked. We were all outside of their house getting ready to leave.

"I'm fine," Kakashi chuckled.

"Okay, let's go!" Tazuna said and when all began walking; today even Kakashi was going with us.

Dude! Since when did the bridge look so done? I could have sworn it was only have half way complete! I really hate my short attention span! We soon walked on to the bridge.

"W-What's this?" Tazuna said gaining my attention. I looked up to see all the workers laying on the ground! Some were groaning in agony. Poor dears. "What happened?" he asked.

"Can it be...?" I heard Kakashi said.

Zabuza. "Yup. He's returned..." I said out loud. Suddenly it got real foggy making it so that I could barely see... but I still could!

"Sasuke, Ren, Sakura! Here it comes!" Kakashi said, we instantly got into the formation that we did last time and Sasuke, Sakura and I each had a kunai up in defense... Well today was for attacking! That's right, No more of this third wheel crap!...er…fifth wheel.

My heart was pounded! But it wasn't like before... I don't know what is was, but I knew I wasn't scared anymore. Maybe its adrenaline…damn cavemen "Sorry for the wait, Kakashi," a voice... Zabuza's voice said. "You're still with those brats..."

Brats! Just say that to my face ya Philadelphia chicken!"

"He's shaking again, poor kid," I guess he was talking about Sasuke. I swear if you say

"I'm shaking from excitement," Sasuke said…twitch. I noticed there were a few Zabuza clones surrounding us.

"Sasuke, do it," Kakashi said.

"Me too," I thought and then using my epic ninja speed to boost up mine, I slashed right through three Zabuza's with my kunai. "Man, that was awesome!" I giggled, my eyes turning light blue, pushing my bangs behind my ear because it had moved to the front with I was attacking. I saw Sasuke slash through the rest before all of them turned into water.

"Oh? They saw through the water clones," Zabuza's voice caught my attention. "Your brats have grown."

I noticed that Zabuza and Haku were ahead of us. "It looks like two new rivals have appeared, eh, Haku?" Zabuza continued.

"It does indeed," Haku answered.

"Ren, I didn't tell you to attack," Kakashi said, I laughed nervously. Oh snap.

"I could have sworn you said Ren," I said nervously. "My bad~... Well, I got 'em, didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did," Kakashi stated.

"Hey, Sasuke... aren't you glad Zabuza changed his pants... They were stupid…and he has a shirt on!" I whispered to Sasuke.

"Don't pay attention to his clothes, idiot," Sasuke said.

"Nyeh ne ne..." I said holding up my kunai knife again.

"Oh my, it looks like my thinking was right on mark," Kakashi said.

"Thinking...?" Zabuza said.

"That masked one... " Kakashi said.

"As we thought," Sasuke said.

"So, being a Hidden Mist hunter-nin was a super complete lie?" Tazuna asked.

No duh old man. Why else would he actually be here?

"He's obviously Zabuza's comrade," Kakashi said. "He is standing next to him..."

"You really should take off that mask seeing as how we know the truth," I called over to him.

"Hiding behind that mask. Who does he think he is?" Sakura said.

Sakura. Shut up and stick to the background, you're not even all that important in this arc.

"Wait a minute...Kakashi-sensei, you're wearing a mask, too!" I said.

"Oh so I am, so I am"

Oh, like he didn't know!

"This one's mine," Sasuke said.

"Eh?" Sakura asked.

"Really?" I asked.

"That was quite a show you put on before, ..." Sasuke said. "But we're on to you now...and I hate ham actors"

You hate every thing, stupid.

"Sasuke's so cool!" Sakura squealed.

"…Ham actor?" what the heck is a ham actor?

Suddenly, Haku started coming at us and he was spinning! It looked like a small tornado! Sasuke got ready to do something! Glad he didn't come after me... I wasn't ready for that...! "So, he can keep up with Haku," Zabuza said.

"Sakura, Ren, cover Tazuna and stay close to me," Kakashi instructed.

Oh COME ON!

I watched as Haku and Sasuke clash with each other again and again. Kunai against needle, it looked as if they were evenly matched. Suddenly, I saw Haku start performing hand signs with just one hand! "A thousand needles of death," I heard him say and he kicked the water making up fly up.

The water surrounded the two and then formed into needles! "How is he going to get out of the this one?" I thought still watching. I saw Sasuke not moving, I think it was trying to concentrate on his Chakra even in battle. I saw that the needles were moving in at an alarming rate! "Sasuke! Do something already you moron!" I yelled. The needles had hit, but Haku jumped back just in time. Sasuke though... he was gone? I didn't see him at all. "Where did he go?" I thought looking around.

I looked up and saw Sasuke about to throw three shurikens. But Haku just dodged them by backing up each time he threw one. I looked back up to see Sasuke gone again; he was now behind Haku! "He's fast... he's actually pissing me off now. They suddenly moved away from each other and the clashed again! But this time Sasuke had an extra kunai and threw it at Haku's face causing him to move to the ground to dodge it. Sasuke seeing the advantage kicked Haku sending him flying back!

"Wow, can't say I'm not impressed..." I thought. "But I'll still take him on!"

"Thought you were quicker, huh?" Sasuke said. Quicker isn't a word is it? "Tell me, what else were you wrong about!"

"Okay, he's just bragging now," I say shaking my head.

"You made a big mistake insulting these ninja and calling them brats," Kakashi said. "That's guaranteed to bring out Sasuke's attitude and Ren and Sakura's anger. He's the best young fighter of the Hidden Leaf Village Sakura here, is our sharpest mind; and Ren is the most observant ninja I've seen in a while she has shown some great skills too."

"Tee hee hee!" I said.

Damn straight Mofoes!

"And last but not least, our number one, hyperactive, knuckle head ninja is Uzumaki Naruto," Kakashi finished.

"Yeah," I said nodding my head. Suddenly Zabuza started laughing, man, I want to know what's so funny!..

"Haku, if we keep going like this... we'll be the victims instead of them," he said. "Get on with it!"

Wait…

"Right," Haku said standing.

Its coming to me…

Haku suddenly had this blue aura thing going on. "What's that?" I heard Sasuke say.

Almost got it…

"I'm sorry it's come to this," Haku said.

Almost…

"The air... so cold," Sasuke said.

OH CRAP! D8

"Wait a minute! I know this!" I scream "Sasuke, get your butt back over here!" I yelled to him jesturing a 'come back' motion with my arms but he stayed. He never listens!

Suddenly the water started turning into ice! "Get out of there!" I yelled running towards Sasuke.

"Ren, no!" I heard Kakashi yell... too bad I don't listen to my elders! I was now at Sasuke's side.

"Come on, dummy!" I said trying to drag him away. "Can't you see this is dangerous!" I was about to run back over to Kakashi with Sasuke being dragged behind me but I saw that an ice thing blocked me. "Crap!"

"Secret Jutsu..." Haku said as more and more ice things appeared around us. "Crystal Ice Mirrors!" The ice mirrors began to glow and then Haku stepped into one of them from the outside!

"I'm in trouble." I thought. "Why did I have to run right into this?" Suddenly, Haku's started appearing in all the mirrors!

"They're mirrors!" Sasuke said. "But how?"

"Well, shall I begin?" Hakus asked us.

"Um… no?" I said.

"I shouldn't have asked," Haku said. "I'll show you my true speed." I don't wanna see it! I Don't Wanna See It! I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT! Suddenly I feel something slice right through my clothes! My sleeves to be exact! Sasuke was getting the same thing done to him!

"Sasuke! Ren!" I heard Kakashi call to us. Next I feel as if a hundred needles are being thrown at me!

"AHHH!" I screamed. I never did like getting shots and still don't like needles! I heard Sasuke screaming too! I felt blood running down parts of my body as I continued to cry out. . Suddenly I puked up some blood."R-Ren?" Sasuke sounded concerned. Damn this is not the time for an illness episode.

The attacks weren't letting up either! But then, they did! "Why did he stop?" I thought looking up.

I saw Haku laying inside with us! He sat up slowly and was looking around. "How...?" I thought. "N-Naruto... is that him...?" I said out loud. Thank you you little orange blob!

"I only know one n-ninja that shows off l-l-like this," Sasuke said, I saw that his face was bleeding and he had cuts in his flesh as well.

"Uzumaki Naruto... has arrived!" I heard Naruto shout.

"He really is a show off," I said grinning lightly.

TBC

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	19. Chapter 19

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

Everyone watched Naruto finish his 'act'. What's with all the smoke? Weird. He such a drama queen.

"Now that I'm here, everything will be fine," Naruto said confidently. "Usually in this type of situation in the story, the main character shows up and kicks some major bad guy's ass!"

Oh, Naruto just cussed! He's only twelve! My mom would surely hit my head if she heard me cuss! But this particular situation Naruto may be the main character but he's gonna look like an idiot.

"He a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

Everyone watched Naruto finish his 'act'. What's with all the smoke? Weird. He such a drama queen.

"Now that I'm here, everything will be fine," Naruto said confidently. "Usually in this type of situation in the story, the main character shows up and kicks some major bad guy's ass!"

Oh, Naruto just cussed! He's only twelve! My mom would surely hit my head if she heard me cuss! But this particular situation Naruto may be the main character but he's gonna look like an idiot.

"He talks too much," I heard Sasuke grumble shaking his head. He does, doesn't he?

"Okay, here goes!" Naruto shouting preparing to use the Shadow Clone Jutsu, but before he could complete it, Zabuza threw shurikens at him.

"N-Naruto! Get out of the way!" I yelled in my mind, but he just stayed there with a scared look on his face! Oh my gosh he can be such a moron. Suddenly I saw needles fly toward the shurikens knocking them to the ground. "Man, if he gets killed before saving us I'll...wait the main character isn't gonna get killed in his own anime" I trailed off.

"Hey! What idiot would use a jutsu right in front of the enemy?" Kakashi yelled to Naruto. "The true ninja art is trickery, to fool the opponent! Even for just one jutsu, you must confuse the opponent, sneaking up from behind to catch them off guard. With the way you appeared, it's like you just showed up to be a target!"

"No way! I came to save..." Naruto began to shout. Again with the shouting

"Sasuke?" I tried getting his attention with a low whisper.

"W-What?" he too was on his knees by now. Oh my gosh HE STUTTERED!

"You think you can hit Haku from here?" I asked.

"Why can't you do it?" he asked.

"Because... I don't feel like it, and you're the prodigy here get to work." I answered.

"Figures..." I heard Sasuke muttered. Ungrateful brat! Go lick the ice mirror so your tongue will get stuck.

"You're as soft as always..." I heard Zabuza say.

"I'm sorry," Haku said.

Zabuza's right... if he really wanted to kill us, Sasuke and I would be dead right now! Those hits he was giving us earlier, hurtful they were, but not fatal. If Haku could put Zabuza in a near-death state then, he could kill with a wave of his hand. Is he not going to-

"Well then, I'll just have to defeat you first!" Naruto shout snapped me out of my thoughts. "So, you were Zabuza's friend. How dare you trick us?"

Okay we already went over this, can we just get this arc over with!

"Sorry, but as your sensei said, tricking your opponent is the true art of the shinobi," Haku said. "Don't hate me for it."

Kind of hard not to.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sasuke with a kunai in his hand. He was about to attack! Sasuke finally threw his kunai but Haku dodged it by just moving back. "I haven't forgotten about you two," Haku said.

"Good going Sasuke!" I said sarcastically, of course.

"You the one who suggested it to me!" Sasuke retorted.

"...No I didn't." I mused.

"Yes you did, you idiot!" Sasuke grumbled.

"I'd like it if you'd just stay down," Haku said looking directly at us. "But it looks like that's not going to happen. Fine then, let's finish things between us first."

"Nah, you can fight Naruto first!" I said. "I have no problem with waiting. It's not like I can go anywhere!"

"No, I think I'll fight you first," Haku said walking to one of the mirrors. Aww we gonna die.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted getting Haku's attention making him stop short.

"Naruto-kun, we'll settle things later," Haku said and then he molded with the ice mirror he was in front of.

"Here we go again...!" I muttered. I saw Sasuke looking at the other mirrors, which Haku had not appeared in yet, Sasuke was going for a weapon...

"Over here," I heard Haku's voice behind us! I saw that Haku had disappeared from the mirror in front of us.

"That is fast! I mean sure he looked super-fast on T.V. but seriously this is redonculous! I slowly turned around along with Sasuke. I saw a bunch of Hakus suddenly start appearing in all of the mirrors and he looked ready to attack! Suddenly I feel my body being attacked again with more needles; I tried to protect myself but it was of little use, I was thrown back by the in coming needles.

"REN! SASUKE!" I heard Naruto shout. Man, that hurt like CHIZ!

"Sasuke!" I said struggling to get up, he was too. "The mirrors... he's using them for transportation," I said holding my leg, which was throbbing painfully.

"I'm surprised you figured that," Sasuke said.

Duh, I've seen this show like a million times.

"Our only shot is for Naruto to attack the outside... while we attack the inside," I whispered softly so that Haku couldn't hear.

"You're right," Sasuke said. "That would be a good plan."

"HEY!" a voice startled me so much that I fell back in shock. "I came to save you!"

"Na…ru…to!" I growled out. Damn it I forgot this part.

"Are you okay, Ren, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

""You total moron!"" Sasuke and I shouted at the same time... creepy. "If you're a shinobi, then move more carefully!" Sasuke finished.

"What did you say?" Naruto shouted back. "I came to save you guys and this is what I get?"

"W-Why did you come inside the mirrors?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, you can't rescue us if you're stuck in here too with no way out!" I shouted shaking Naruto like crazy! Seriously! No wonder people on fanfiction make him ridiculously stupid! Like that one fic where he's 21 years old and he doesn't know the square root of 81…which is 9…(Contract with a bastard by bellabambina248)

It's just I really wanted to get out of here and Naruto screwed that up for me and Sasuke! I hate being in here! ITS FREAKING COLD!

"Damn it! I don't care anymore. You're an idiot!" Sasuke said looking away.

"Idiot? How dare you call me an idiot, you idiot!" Naruto shouted once I had stopped shaking him. Sasuke stood up and looked at all the mirrors.

"All right then, I'll just bust these mirrors!" he said and then did some hand signs. "KATON!"

"Hey, what'cha gonna do?" Naruto asked.

"This mirrors are made of ice, so..." Sasuke said. " Gōkakyū no Jutsu!" A giant ball of fire suddenly came out of Sasuke's mouth, well, it looked like it came from his mouth. It went straight towards two of Haku's mirrors. Yet, when the fire cleared the mirrors were no where near melted.

"It didn't do anything at all!" Naruto shouted.

"You can't melt this ice with fire of that power level," Haku said.

"Well, at least you made it a little warmer in here," I said and which Sasuke glared at me. "What?"

Haku looked as if he was about to strike! And his ice mirrors suddenly glowed and that's when I felt even more pain hit my body knocking me off my feet! "AAHHH!" I screamed, I heard Sasuke and Naruto yell... they know they wanted to scream, too!

"Damn, where is he attacking from?" Naruto said sitting up. "Is he using clones?" He stood up and looked around. "Where's the real one?"

They're called ice MIRRORS Naruto, they're reflections of the real Haku. Duh.

"Trying to follow me with your eyes is useless," Haku said. "You will never be able to catch me."

"Your in-a-matter-of-fact voice is annoying me…" I mumbled.

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Naruto shouted.

"No, don't!" Sasuke yelled but it was too late. Naruto had created the clones and they were all about to attack the mirrors. Never understood why he yelled 'No, Don't!'

"I'll find the real one by crushing them all!" Naruto yelled. But before the Narutos could attack, I saw a blur zipping past all of the Narutos, going in and out of the mirrors!

One by one, the Naruto clones disappeared and the real Naruto came crashing down to Earth, right by Sasuke and I. "Welcome back. Have a nice fall?"

"This jutsu uses the mirrors' reflections to transport me," Haku informed us. "From my point of view, you guys seem to be moving in slow motion."

"Damn it! So what? I can't die here!" Naruto said. "I have a dream I must fulfill... The dream to have everyone acknowledge my strength! And the dream to become Hokage!"

"He's right! We all have dreams!" I said struggling to stand. "I too have a dream... and I can't let you kill it!" And I am not talking about that one with Sasuke on pot!

"Dream...?" I heard Haku whisper. Man, I can hear a lot of things in this world. "Becoming a true shinobi is difficult for me... If possible, I don't want to have to kill you. Nor want you to have to kill me. But if you come at me... I can destroy my kind heart with a blade, and become a true shinobi. This bridge is the place where we fight... to connect our dreams. Me, for my dream, and you, for your dreams. Please don't hate me."

You said that already…That's kinda hard to do since... YOU'RE THROWING VERY SHARP NEEDLES AT ME!

"I want to protect someone precious to me... to work for that person, to fight for that person, to make that person's dream come true," Haku continued. "That is my dream. For that, I can become a shinobi. I will kill you!" he finished holding up three needles; I don't know why, but it caused all of us... Naruto, Sasuke and I... to smirk. I think I'm finally losing it after being in this world for so long! Actually I think I've lost it a while ago.

Haku didn't make a move for a while. What was he waiting for? For us to make an attack first? Coward.

"Just because I screwed up the first time doesn't mean I'm going to quit," Naruto said, we were all standing by now. "I'll try as many times as I need to! Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Yeah Naruto! You just keep screwing up till you finally do something somewhat decent!

"Stop it!" Sasuke shouted but he had already completed the jutsu. Again the clones tried to attack and yet again Haku did the same thing he had done before.

But this time I saw Haku stop and prepared to attack both me and Sasuke with more needles! Why me? I felt the many needles pierced my skin, I cried out again in pain. I opened my eyes when the needles stopped coming and saw that there was only one Naruto.

"What the hell...!" he yelled. "One more time...! Shadow Clone Jutsu!" When the clones appeared, Sasuke kicked up some water...?

What is he thinking? Naruto's attack failed again.

The needle attack hit me again and again making me fall again. I struggled to get up again as I glared at Naruto's body. "I wish he would stop doing that!" I thought groaning a little. "I'm already in pain!" Naruto got up again and used his favorite technique! "Oh man, more pain!" I closed my eyes and waiting for the needles... a full minute went by but still no needles.

I opened my eyes slowly just in time to see Naruto fall to the ground again, but this time he was out like a light. Haku was actually on the ground.. "What just happened?" I asked.

I looked over at Sasuke to see he finally activated the sharingan…and it looks so FREAKY!

"I can see it…" I heard Sasuke mumbled.

Suddenly everything went by so fast next thing I knew Naruto and I looked up at Sasuke and saw he was riddled with needles and had a slight smile on his face. He saved us.

"Sasuke you asshole, why? Why did you do it?" Naruto shouted as I caught Sasuke from falling and laid him on my lap.

"Truthfully, I don't know why, my body sort of moved on it's on. Damnit I can't die here, I still need to kill my brother. Do me a favor Naruto…Ren… and survive. Survive and fulfill your dream." With that Sasuke stopped moving leaving a silent Naruto. And me holding the last Uchiha.

"Your friend died like a true shinobi, protecting someone that was precious to him." It was the hunter-nin's voice that brought Naruto and me back to reality. Sasuke's killer was still alive, my emo-bunny, my friend was dead because of him. Oh wait…he's not dead…pfft duh, I am getting way to wrapped up in this emotional stuff …but it still hurts seeing him like this...and that little speech he gave before passing out was a bit exaggerated, but he thought what he thought.

'He will pay dearly.' Naruto murmured as something inside him snapped and red chakra flowed around him body changing his once blue eyes to a blood red, his already elongated canines into full fangs, and his nails into claws.

"You'll pay for what you did to Sasuke! I'll fucking kill you!"

Gasp, Naruto said the F word!

Haku was for once scared, this malevolent red chakra that surrounded the blonde boy was practically oozing killing intent.

'Wh...what chakra is this?'

The red chakra seemed to coalesce into the shape of a fox's head above Naruko's body while looking at Haku.

'Impossible! His chakra is physically manifesting itself! And what an appalling chakra it is!'

Haku watched as the wounds inflicted on the blonde boy seemed to close on their own, steam rising off of them as they sealed shut.

'His wounds...they're healing themselves! Who...what on earth is he?'

Naruto looked over his shoulder at Haku, his bloodthirst evident in his eyes as he glared at the mask wearing nin.

This. Is. So. Cooooool.

Both Kakashi and Zabuza both felt the malevolent chakra that washed over the bridge.

"Is this Zabuza's doing?"

'NO! That power! So foul...and evil...yet familiar...it can't be!' Kakashi's eyes widened at his realization.

'This chakra I'm feeling, something about it fills me with dread, is this Kakashi's doing? No it seems bigger than Kakashi somehow, but who is giving it off?' Zabuza clenched his sword in his hand tightly fearing an attack from all sides by whoever was emanating that powerful chakra.

'Naruto! Unbelievable, after all this time, has his seal begun to unravel? Has it broken? No, I can sense we're safe for now, IT hasn't broken through yet...not completely. But the seal has slipped or cracked a little, I can feel it's power bleeding through. Which means I need to hurry!'

"Listen up Zabuza, I'm a busy man and you're a busy man. We've both got a lot on our plates so let's stop screwing around and wrap this up? One big move, winner takes all?" Kakashi pulled out a small scroll and unraveled it smearing some blood from his earlier cut across the length of the scroll before rolling it back up and focusing chakra into it.

"An intriguing notion, What's left Kakashi? Show me what you've got!"

Meanwhile back in the dome Naruto turned to face Haku and his face became a snarl as he crouched slightly.

'he's attacking! he's so bloodthirsty! Completely different from the boy I met yesterday!' Haku threw several senbon needles at the charging Naruto who with a mere roar deflected them away from him.

Haku used this chance to move to another mirror, completely surprised at what he just saw.

I stopped watching their fight and looked down at Sasuke. He looked really pale and all…broken. All in all, he looked like shit. I let out a sigh and laid him down on the ground carefully. I know that if I stay here any longer Sakura will have a bitch-fit and somehow blame me.

Kakashi flipped through handseals while still holding the scroll before slamming it down on the ground.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu! Doton: Tsuiga no jutsu!"

"That posturing will get you nowhere Kakashi. I have you completely in my spell!" A small sound alerted Zabuza as several ninja dogs erupted from the ground each biting him to hold him in place.

"When your eyes and ears fail you, you can always follow your nose. This jutsu is specifically made for tracking, it's why I went out of my way to bleed during our little bouts. My nin pups have your scent, the fog is lifting and your future is clear. Your future is death."

"Ha I've had enough of your bluffs Kakashi."

"Whose bluffing? You're going to die one way or another. You're willing to let Wave suffer to advance your own ambitions. That is not what a true shinobi does.

"Spare me the philosophy lesson, I'm fighting for my own ideals and I'm not about to stop." Kakashi flipped through three handseals before his right hand became covered in lightning chakra.

"Your future...is death."

"What are you waiting for Naruto?"

"Okay I get it you don't like losing but wanting to die just because I beat you is crazy! There is more to you than just fighting, your boss has to like you more than just that right?"

"Naruto, the day I met you in the forest I was thinking we were the same. Surely you can understand. I'm sorry you have to bloody your hands."

"Is there no other way?"

"Nope there's no other way sadly. He can't live with himself knowing that he's failed his precious person." I said coming from where? I have no idea.

"Naruto, I hope...I hope you make your dream come true."

"Sasuke...he had a dream too. I just wish we had met some other way, someplace else. We could have been friends, you and I."

And me!

Naruto pulled a kunai out and charged towards Haku.

'Thank you Naruto. You're going to be very strong one day, along with your friends.'

Just before Naruto made it to Haku he sensed something was wrong with Zabuza and caught Naruto's hand.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I can't die just yet." With his lone hand Haku flipped through handseals and conjured a mirror and vanished.

"Haku!"

"Come on Naruto!" I said leading him to Kakashi and Zabuza

Kakashi charged towards Zabuza intent on thursting his Raikiri through him to find that his hand was now through the young hunter-nin Haku.

"Zabuza-s..sama"

"Well Kakashi, you said my future was death but it seems you were wrong again."

I could see figures in the mist and rushed towards them only to see Kakahsi's hand through Haku's chest.

Zabuza grabbed his sword and swung it towards Kakashi who shunshined away with Haku's body where he laid it down and closed his eyes.

"So it seems you were able to get away just because poor Haku was already dead."

'That bastard!' Naruto growled out and was about to charge Zabuza when Kakashi's voice stopped him.

"Naruto, stay out of this, this is my fight!"

"Naruto! Ren! You're alive!" I turned to see Sakura guarding Tazuna. Ha, screw guarding she didn't do a damn thing but stand there.

"Sakura-chan…"

"What about Sasuke?" Naruto's silence plus his frown didn't sit well with Sakura who froze as if her whole world was now shattered. Kakashi was listening in and when he didn't hear Naruto or me respond to Sakura's question she knew what it meant. I'll let her have her sasusaku moment…this once.

"Don't let yourself get distracted Kakashi!" Zabuza charged Kakashi who ducked low and kicked him in the gut knocking the breath out of him.

"Sakura-san, I'll stay with you, so you're not disobeying your sensei." Both Sakura and Tazuna ran past me and Naruto who kept his head down and was shaking, his fists clenched tightly.

Sakura and Tazuna both saw Sasuke's body covered in needles. Sakura felt his body and it felt so cold. Tazuna could see the girl was fighting to hold it in.

"It's okay to let it out, there are times when you just have to cry, don't hold it in for my sake."

Sakura was silent for a moment before she spoke.

"I used to always get perfect scores on my tests. One of these tests had a question. What is rule number 25 of shinobi conduct? And like always I simply answered it. "No matter what happens, a true shinobi must never...ever show their emotions! Th-the mission is the only priority. Carry that in your heart and never ever shed a tear."" Sakura broke down, tears of sadness dropping on Sasuke's face.

'So this is what a shinobi is...how horrible it is...to make children go through that.' Tazuna thought as he watched the pink haired girl cry over her teammate.

Zabuza couldn't understand it, Kakashi was batting him aside like he was a pest and try as he might to hit him he couldn't seem to land one blow on the copy nin. Before he even knew what was going on Kakashi had his hand on the back of Zabuza's neck and plunged two kunai into each of his major arm muscles.

"There now you can't use either arm." A voice from the end of the bridge caught all their attention.

"Well well well, he's certainly made a fine mess of you. What a pity Zabuza!"

"Gato, what are you doing here? And why did you bring all of them?"

"Simple, their has been a slight change of plans, or of your plans anyways. You must have guessed I never did intend to pay you. It's such a hassle hiring skilled shinobi, so expensive and their village and friends tend to be upset when you kill them. Nukenin on the other hand, no one cares what happens to you when the job is done. When you ninja wear each other down, common thugs can finish the rest, it's a good business plan, cheap and effective. Hiring you was probably my worst mistake. You're no demon, a baby demon maybe."

"Kakashi it seems I am now unemployed which means our differences are settled."

"Yeah, looks like it."

"There still is one thing to do." Gato walked over to Haku's corpse and started kicking it which made Naruto and I take off only to be stopped by Kakashi.

"Naruto, Ren, cool it, there are a lot of them there."

"GRR HEY WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING DAMNIT? HE WORKED FOR YOU! PRACTICALLY FUCKING WORSHIPPED YOU!"

"Like what? Haku is dead."

"BUT SHOULDN'T YOU CARE? THAT FAT PIG IS DESECRATING HIS CORPSE!" I shouted.

"Kid, Haku and I were used, that's what happens to shinobi. I didn't value Haku for himself, but for the power his blood carried and what his talents could do for me. I apologize for nothing."

"You really mean that?" I asked bewildered and disgusted.

"Ren. Naruto. Enough! Our quarrel is over, leave him alone."

"GRR SHUT UP! HE'S STILL MY ENEMY ESPECIALLY IF HE WON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT HAKU! HE REALLY CARED ABOUT YOU! HE WAS FUCKING DEVOTED TO YOU! BUT TO YOU THAT'S NOTHING, THAT HE WAS NOTHING, YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T FEEL A DAMN THING? ARE YOU REALLY THAT HEARTLESS? HE...HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR YOU!" Naruto screamed but began to tear up.

"You were everything to him...he died...without any of his dreams coming true...that's...too much...too cruel." I finished for my blonde friend.

"Kid..."

We looked up at Zabuza and could see he was crying just like we were.

"Not...another word. Kid, what Haku did was not just for me. While he fought his heart broke over you...and your friends. That is the honest truth. He was too kind, too gentle. I'm glad my last battle was against you. You're right you know. We may be shinobi but in the end we're just simply human, with all the feelings involved and I have now lost everything. Girl, would you lend me your kunai?"

I sniffled and tossed it to the missing-nin who had now chewed through the bandages covering his face and took off towards Gato and his men.

"What are you all waiting for? Kill him!" Zabuza flared his chakra which like Naruto's seem to transform into a monstrous shape scaring all of the thugs.

"A...a demon!" Gato thought he was safe behind his men until he saw Zabuza slaughtering them all with just a kunai in his mouth taking swords, picks, and other weapons in his back. Gato could only watch in horror as Zabuza stabbed the kunai into his chest.

"W..why won't you die? If you're in such a hurry to be with your little friend, go alone!"

"I have no intention of going to the same place as Haku. I'm taking you with me to Hell! Even a baby demon in life can grow up into a real demon in Hell!" Zabuza pulled the kunai out and in one swift motion cut off Gato's head staring the rest of the thugs in the face, his eyes hardened daring any of them to charge him.

It was awesome. Gross, but awesome.

'Looks like this is goodbye for now Haku. Thanks for everything...and I'm sorry.'

Zabuza fell to the ground leaving us all stunned but moved.

"Naruto, Ren, don't look away, that was the end of a man who lived his life fully." Kakashi said in a low voice. Naruto wiped his tears away while mine fell down my cheeks without looking away from the two corpses.

Sakura continued sobbing over Sasuke's body which unseen to her had twitched.

"Sakura...your arm...is heavy." Sakura blinked once, then twice just to make sure it wasn't a dream. Sasuke really was alive.

"Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!"

"Sakura...you're hurting me!"

"Oh I'm sorry!"

"I'm alright, how's Ren? And Naruto? That creep in the mask?"

"Don't try to move! They're fine and the boy in the mask is dead!"

"What? Did Naruto or?"

"No..I'm not sure, Naruto! Ren! It's Sasuke! He's alive!" I turned to see Sasuke standing waving his arm at me and Naruto weakly.

Naruto laughed weakly, smiling, But I ran over to them and it seemed like I was going to hug Sasuke...until my hand smacked the back of his head.

"YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT SASUKE!"

"REN! SASUKE'S INJURED! DON'T PUNCH HIM!" I ignored her and grabbed Sasuke by his collar dragging him closer to me, face to face.

"You dummy! Of all the stupid idiotic things to do! Why? Why when you could've just…I don't know! Do something else?"

"What's wrong shorty? Worried about me?" …Oh, hell nah. I smacked him in the face again just for calling me the S word.

"YES I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU YOU NUB! I HAD THOUGHT YOU HAD GOTTEN KILLED FOR US! Do you have any idea how traumatic that is? Well do you?" Sasuke stayed silent.

"Sasuke...don't you ever...ever make me worry like that again understood?" Sasuke could see if he didn't say yes I'd probably actually would kill him so he nodded.

"Good...Emo-bunny." Sasuke had to smirk, he figured she was just upset with him for the whole dying thing...then again who wouldn't be mad at their friend for pulling a stunt like that?

"AREN'T YOU SWEETHEARTS FORGETTING SOMETHING? YOU JUST KILLED OUR MEAL TICKET! NOW THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK EVEN IS TO LOOT THE TOWN!"

Oh Yeeeeeeah, those guys are there…

A lone crossbow bolt landed in front of the group of thugs. Me and the others turned to see Inari and the villagers all armed ready to defend their home.

"STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! THIS IS OUR HOME! COME ONE STEP CLOSER AND YOU'LL DIE WHERE YOU STAND!"

"Inari!" Naruto shouted

"A hero always arrive at the last second y'know?"

Naruto smiled and formed a familiar cross handseal.

"Mind if I join you? Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Over a dozen Naruto's stood there ready to fight the thugs.

'I can't manage anything solid with my chakra this low but a bluff should be enough to scare these guys off!'

"Kage bunshin no jutsu! Kakashi-style!" over a hundred copies of Kakashi stood all armed with kunai and doing handseals.

"Now shall we?"

"NEVERMIND! RUN AWAY!" The thugs started running and jumping over each other to get off the bridge. They had all seen what Zabuza had done to them and he was one ninja, never mind the hundreds that were now on the bridge.

The bridge was safe now, and Gato was dead meaning Wave was now safe. Everyone including the ninjas that helped protect them could rest easy.

YAY!

A week later Sasuke body was rested and well and now we are on our way back to Konoha. I am glad we're going home! I want to sleep in my own bed and go pee in my own bathroom! As we finished walking across the bridge I saw a rustling near some bushes. Normally you shouldn't do that but I'm not a normal person.

I walked over to the bushes.

"Ren! What are you doing?" Kakashi asked.

"Meh!" I said back as I looked through the annoying bushes. When I got through them all I found baby fox kit and a wolf pup.

…THEY WERE SO CUTE!

They started to whimper and inch closer to me. I stuck out my hand to see if they would bite or lick my hand. They licked it. I carefully picked them up and they quickly fell asleep in my arms. Yes I am definitely keeping them.

"REN!"

"I'M COMING, JEEZ!"

TBC

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WHAT SHOULD THE FOX AND WOLF'S NAMES BE?


	20. Chapter 20

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

Akahana- blonde fur, red eyes Hyousuke-black, gold eyes

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

…FLOP! Yup. I flopped onto my bed.

I'm so tired! D missions are suppose to be easy! Well they are but having so many at once is exhausting! There was a sudden purring next to me. It was Akahana, the fox that I decided to take care of. I found her in a rose bush so I named her Akahana(red rose) I know original, right?

I pet the little fox kit as she continued to purr. I mean who wouldn't pet a cute animal purring! She so cute!

"Grrrrrrr" the growling came from the bottom of the bed. Akahana and I looked down to see Hyousuke, the wolf pup I'm also taking care of, pulling and tugging at the bed sheets trying to tear them apart. WAIT! TEAR THEM APART?

"No! Hyou don't do that! You'll ruin the sheets!" I shouted before yanking him away from the bed.

Hyousuke began to like my face and chuff happily. Aw, he's so cute! I settled them onto my bed and gave them each a biscuit.

"Akahana! Hyousuke! I'll be out for a little bit! Aka-chan, take care of the house Hyou-kun, stay off of the internet!"

They both barked in reply as I left. Seriously, I think they're smarter than five Narutos put together. Aw, look how mean I am! My hunger brings out my mean. Then it's time to look for a good place to eat!

I continue to walk down the streets of Konoha until I saw a small café. The inside smelled like fresh made cinnamon buns so my mouth started to salivate and I made a bee line to the enterance.

Jingle Jing! The bell on top of the door rang, indicating someone had come in. A girl who looked about seventeen popped up from behind the counter/bar stool table thing. She had long brown hair, no bangs, fair skin, and blue eyes. She smiled a friendly smile.

"Welcome to the shop! Please take a seat!" she said patting the seat in front of her. I like her for some reason don't know why. But I do.

"Hello I'm Himeko! Is there anything specific you would like today?" Himeko asked.

But…wait! What the hell is on the menu?

"Okay your meal will be coming up shortly!" She said before leaving to the back. WAIT I DIDN'T EVEN ORDER YET!

Jingle Jing!

"Ah Ren!" I turned to see Naruto(who I suppose called out to me) Sasuke, and Sakura. How the hell did we all just gather here together at the same time? We didn't do this on purpose, did we?

"Welcome to the shop please take a seat next to this young lady!" another girl from behind the counter greeted, this time the girl was shorter, long ebony hair in a high pony tail and emerald green eyes. Wait where the heck did she come from? What's with these waitresses? They have a "we-know-something-you-don't-know" aura

The rest of team seven sat down next to me. The black haired waitress grinned and started to write things down on a pad off paper.

"My name is Namine! Your food will be out sooner or later!" She said before leaving to the back. WAIT THEY DIDN'T EVEN ORDER YET! SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE THEY SMOKING?

Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura and I all sweat dropped.

After a while of useless chit chatting the waitresses came out with two trays each of food. Namine set a plate of umeboshi for Sakura and a bowel of miso ramen for Naruto, While Himeko handed a plate of onigiri with a side of sliced tomatoes to Sasuke and a bowel of zenzai for me.

…how the hell did they just know what we wanted? Are they physic?

"No we are not physic." Said yet another waitress this time with short red hair, dark blue eyes and tall height.

We all moved back, completely freaked out by these waitresses. They were weird but I like them.

"Itadakimasu!" we all thanked.

Oh my gosh…THAT WAS THE BEST FOOD I'VE EVER EATEN! Yeah the food coma is setting in. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura looked just as satisfied as I did.

But now I have to ask the most dreaded question.

"So how much is all this?" I asked hesitantly. The rest of team tensed at the question. Himeko smiled at us.

"Free of charge!"

…

Woah wait…what?

"This is all free?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

Himeko smiled and nodded but Namine and the red head known as Kairi pouted behind her. Guess they wanted to charge us.

"Well…thank you very much!" I said. Yup, I like these chicks. Anyone, who gives me free food is awesome in my book.

"Yeah Thanks! Believe it!" Naruto cheered.

Himeko, Namine, Kairi and I all twitched at the "believe it"

"Bye come again!" The waitresses farwelled to us as we left.

Then something came to me! Wait could they…I mean…are they…from my world too?

…

…Nah.

HIMEKO/ NAMINE/ KAIRI POV

"I still think we should have told her." Nami said as she washed the dishes.

"No, she would have freaked out if we did, and the OC system would be out of wack." Himeko replied.

"What about Sasuke? We could have told him what Itachi is really up to and save us a lot of complications." Kairi also suggested.

Himeko shook her head. "No, that would completely destroy the order of the NARUTO plot no matter how much we should tell him we can't. We'll just keep playing dumb. Now we gotta get ready! The chunin exams are coming up."

""Right!""

TBC

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	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 20

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

Akahana- blonde fur, red eyes Hyousuke-black, gold eyes

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

Ugh! This is taking too long. Why does Kakashi insist on being late. Now I remember. Kakashi is one of my least favorite characters.

Yeah he might be cool and all but have you ever noticed that he plays favorites amongst his students AND the only jutsu he teaches us is the Tree climbing thing AND he only teaches Sasuke only one other jutsu? He doesn't even teach us any combat moves or anything AND he sucks as a teacher so bad that all his students find other teachers to get stronger! The award for the worst ninja teacher of the year goes to-

Kakashi suddenly shows up in a puff of smoke and waves at us as if nothings wrong. "Hey Guys!"

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura and Naruto screamed.

Sasuke and I just glared at him. Seriously I'm still mad about my rant about him. Useless teacher.

"So what's your excuse this time Kakashi?" I asked not really caring.

"Well I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life." He said in a dreamy voice.

Yeah ok. You just got lost on the path of your porn.

Sasuke smirked as if he knew what I was thinking…wait…did he? I looked at Sasuke for a second and looked at Naruto he looked as if he's day dreaming about himself being better than Sasuke or something then I looked back at Kakashi.

"Believe it!" Naruto yelled as my eye twitched once again.

Kakashi looked over at Naruto. "Tell us when you're done fantasizing Naruto."

Sakura growled. "Gosh Naruto your so annoying!"

Reallly? Was that honestly necessary to yell at him?

"So, who's ready for today's missions?" Kakashi said in a fake enthusiastic voice.

Whoopdy-f-ing doo

Mission #1- Helping the bitchy lady with the weeds

'_No way am I gonna let Sasuke beat me! Believe it'_ Naruto thought.

I let out a sigh. I really hated weeding. OW! Damn it. The weeds always hurt my hands and get grass blood all over me shouldn't we get some lemonade or something? Sasuke, Sakura and I were doing pretty well. Unfortunately Naruto didn't only pick the weeds, he picked the plants to. I don't blame him. they all look alike. The lady looked angry. Naruto! Play dead! She's bigger than you!

Naruto smiled brightly at the mean lady. "Hiya lady! I picked all the weeds for ya!"

The Lady glared at him. "Not only did you pick the weeds...but you also picked all my plants! They were special plants and you destroyed them!"

The angry lady then punched Naruto. I noticed that instead of helping Sakura and Sasuke are just watching as if it was some kind of skit to watch. I walked over to Sasuke and jumped on his back, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

Naruto...why aren't we helping him?

"What an idiot." Sasuke muttered.

"Tell me about it." Sakura said rolling her eyes

I glared at them. "Why don't you help him out? He's our teammate."

"Our useless teammate." Sasuke replied

"Hmph! You are such a jerk." I huffed as I hopped off of him.

I than walk away from them to stand next to Naruto making sure he's ok.

"Hey Ren!" Sasuke called to me.

"Shut up you mean Emo-Bunny!" I yelled back.

"..." Sasuke looked at the ground apparently angry at anything and everything.

Kakashi leaned down toward his pupil and whispered. "Smooth move."

Sasuke glared at him. "Shut it."

Mission #2- Walk with the puppies!

The next mission was to walk dogs. I tried to tell Naruto to take some of the smaller dogs but he begged to take the biggest dog. Seriously that thing was so huge I got scared of it and hid behind Sasuke.

"Naruto please be careful!" I begged.

Naruto just smiled. "Don't worry! I can do this believe it! And he-Hey Hey don't go there!

The dog had pulled Naruto into a mine field. The dog was so big that Naruto never stood a chance.

BOOM

KABOOM

BANG

"Naruto! Are you ok?" I shouted. Seriously that was scary.

"cough Yea." He coughed up smoke

Sasuke sighed. "What an-"

"Don't say it!"

" I-"

"Shut up!"

Mission #3- Trash….

The last mission for today was to pick up trash from the river. Of course we had to be careful of the waterfall that was at the end of the river…Where the hell did that thing come from anyway?

"Help!" Naruto screamed. OH HOLY COW! HE"S GONNA FALL!

"Naruto!"

I ran for Naruto who was about to fall into the waterfall. I was able to grab him by his ankle while someone else caught me from my ankle. I looked to see Sasuke.

"Woohoo! Nice catch Emo-Bunny" I cheered.

I turned my head to look down the waterfall. Then to my dismay my shirt started to lift up. And revealed my breast. Sure I was wearing a bra BUT STILL!

Sasuke blushes when he looks at me, realizing my dilemma. My lacey boobie covering dilemma.

"NO! NO no no no no no! don't look at me you idiot!" I screamed.

I was blushing to the max! Word.

Naruto blushed as well. "Sasuke you pervert! Lift us up already!"

Sasuke glared bloody murder at our blond moron. "Naruto! Shut up!"

After the missions-

I sighed. Gosh I want some pancakes. " I'm glad were done with missions for today."

Naruto fell to the ground, exhausted. "Me too."

Sasuke whipped the sweat from his brow. "Well that's it. I'm out."

Bye bye Bunny-tan!

Sakura, being her normal fan girl self stopped him. "Sasuke-kun wait! Um let's do something personal. I mean to improve our teamwork and all."

Sasuke gave her a sneer. Oh I love this scene. "I swear your just as bad as Naruto. Instead of flirting why don't you train to make the team stronger. Lets face it. Your actually worse than Naruto."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man Sakura got GOT! Hey wait…DON'T INSULT NARUTO WHEN YOU'RE INSULTING SAKURA!

Naruto came up to Sakura and smiled a goofy smile. "Don't worry Sakura! We can improve our teamwork together all day!"

"Shut it!" Sakura growled.

Hey! He was trying to cheer you up you dimwit.

" Sasuke take me out to eat I gots no money."

"Not my problem."

"Okay I'll ask the boys from the academy to take me." Why did that sound dirty?

Sasuke then stopped walking away and turned to me.

"Why them?" he asked

"What Sasuke are you jealous?" I asked with a smirk.

Sasuke lightly blushed "You wish. Just-forget it come on, shorty."

I smiled at the conclusion. I win!

We then walk away from together.

Kakashi sighed at the sight of his two students. "Ah, Young love."

Sakura and Naruto both screamed "What?"

TBC

REVIEW

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	22. Chapter 22

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

~INNER SAKURA~

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

I sighed as I pat my stomach. Free food is always delicious. Sasuke and I went our separate ways, Him going where ever and me going …somewhere…hey why does Naruto get a crappy little apartment and Sasuke gets a cool apartment? How do they pay for them anyway…HOW DO I PAY FOR MINE? The government? Wait do they have a government in Konoha? Stupid finances…

"Put him down!"

Hmmm? What was that? Could it be Naruto and Sakura getting themselves in trouble?

I look over around a corner to see Sakura, Naruto those two kids who I don't give a chiz about, and Konohamaru in Kankuro's vice grip while Temari just stands there. I don't know why people like this sand group so much…

"I-I'm sorry I was just messing around…" Sakura stuttered. _'who are these people?'_

…ever noticed how sakura tries to act all innocent and nice to strangers and the minute she gets pissed of she's a total beotch. Ugh she's so two-faced. Anybody else think that? Anyone?

…who am I talking to?

"Hey fatass! Let him go!" Naruto shouted.

Kankuro snickered. "Let's play a little before the boss gets here."

Seriously? You're twelve year old brother is your boss? I know Gaara is bad-ass but come on. And what's so fun about picking on kids younger than you? That's it I'm interfering.

"Hey Dish-rag! Drop the boy now!" I yell after I sit on a branch in the tree cuse I don't feel like standing anymore.

Kankuro suddenly gives me this weird smirk. "Hey there doll face, where'd you come from?"

Doll face...Doll Face?...DOLL FACE? …MOTHERFUCKAH'S GONNA GET HIS ASS KICKED!

"Stop flirting! Drop Konohamaru!" Naruto yelled again.

"So Doll-face, do you have a name?" Kankuro continued to flirt with me. I must have looked like I was gonna murder something with me glaring and my eyes blazing red. Naruto, Konohamaru and the two his/her face kids looked like they were gonna poo their pants. Ew.

"Kankuro come on. We don't have time to fool around." Temari finally butted in.

Kankuro smirked at her. "Don't worry Temari. We can just make some time. Infact, we can start by breaking this little squirts neck.

I was prepared to shove this guy's head up his own ass until a rock hit his hand. Kankuro than dropped Konohamaru and Konohamaru ran towards us. Damn his name is just too long to say.

Kankuro clutches his sore hand. "What the-?"

We all looked up to see who threw the rock. It was Sasuke. Holy crap, when did he get here?

Sakura squeeled. "Sasuke-kun!"

You're kidding me? A rock was enough to get him to drop Konohamaru. What a wimp! What a show off, standing next to me all superior like and- Don't you freaking smirk at me you son of a gun!

Kankuro glared at Sasuke. "Hey Kid! Come down here."

Sasuke then crushed the other rock he had…and GETTING THE DUST IN MY EYES! OW OW OW!

Sasuke growled. "Get lost."

Sakura squealed like a fangirl. "So cool!"

Konohamaru points to Naruto. "How come your not cool like him?" Aw, poor Naruto…why does EVERYONE insult him?

Temari smiled at Sasuke seductively. "Well well, local hottie."

…fricken cougar. She's seventeen isn't she?

Kankuro snarled. "Your the type of person I hate the most. All talk but no action."

Dude I know how you feel. But I don't like you, so there.

Sasuke glares at him. Well I've had enough of this. I twist my body around to face Gaara, who nobody noticed was there.

"Excuse me, can you make your brother leave my friends alone?" I asked politely. Gaara just stared at me. Maybe it was a shocked stare but I couldn't tell. Everyone looked completely shocked.

Gaara looked over at Kankuro. "Kankuro. Thats enough. We didn't come here to play games."

Kankuro looked scared. "I-I know Garra. The started it. I-"

Garra glared at him. "Shut up. Or I'll kill you."

Oh my gob so scary! Garra then gave Kankuro one of the most evil glares I ever seen. Garra then comes down to the ground…OMFG that freaking rhymed XD TeeHee!

Garra started to walking away. "Lets go."

They start to walk away but Sasuke stops them. Stupid.

"Hey. You!" He called.

"Who me?" Temari gushed.

Sasuke sighed shaking his head. "The one with the gourd on his back! What's your name?"

Didn't you hear the Kankuro say his name earlier? Stupid.

"His names Gaara, Emo-bunny."

"How do you-"

"The dude you hit just said his name!"

"I am Garra of the Desert. I'm curious about you too." Did he not just hear our conversation?

Sasuke smirked. "I am Sasuke Uchiha." And I! am your fatheh!

I then started to walk away until I hear a voice call out to me.

"Hey girl!" Hmmm?

I turn around to see it was Garra. OMG PANDA-CHAN!

"Yes'm?"

Garra asked me. "What's your name?"

Didn't he hear when…hey…wait no body said my name when I appeared! Not fair. I went to walk up to him, but Sasuke grabbed my arm giving me a "don't get close to that guy" look. Tsk, when did he become my wife?

"…nuh thanks. You'll find out my name at the Chunin exams."

"Hn..." Oh not him too!

Naruto and Sakura gave me confused looks, but I ignored them I then started to walk away. I already knew Sakura would suddenly flip and say stuff about the Chunin exams.

…CRAP! My pets! THEY PROBABLY TRASHED THE APARTMENT!

""

TBC

CHAPTER DEDICATED TO DaughterofDemeter123 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


	23. Chapter 23

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

Okay, good news is that Akahana and Hyousuke are great pets. They really are. I think that they even have the potential in becoming ninja animals. Bad news…They keep PISSING on the FREAKING floor! It disgusting! Do you know how many Fubreeze bottles I have to buy to get rid of the stick?! TOO MANY!

Siiiiiiiiiiiigh…Any way its around seven o'clock at night and I'm on my way home from grocery shopping. Yes, I bought some more fubreeze... I stretch my muscles out as I carry the grocery bags.

I suddenly let out a yawn. Ugh I need some sleep. I wonder what Naruto and Sasuke are doing? Probably brooding or doing something stupid. Everything is so quiet and boring when those two aren't around. I feel so alone…

Oh here's a question that I haven't asked but probably should have early! Why the hell am I in the NARUTO universe?! I mean seriously I'm just a normal twelve year old chick who loves manga and apple juice! Are there other people from real life who are also in this ninja world too? Will they be friends or enemies? And out of all the people in the world(of normal and relatively normal humans) why am I in the main characters group?!

Suddenly a creepy chuckle came from behind me. " are you doing out here alone little girl?"

Having a soul searchy moment with myself. What are you doing here creepy stranger? "Why do you care?" I ask.

I turn around to see a water ninja…OOOOHHHHHHHHHhhh! I know what's going on now! Its Iruka acting like a mother hen after his KakaIru moment. WaterNin/Iruka starts laughing creepily again.

"Well, I'm going home now…have fun laughing to yourself creep stranger." I say as I turn around ready to leave

The water ninja/Iruka sweat drops."I know all about you Ren Roax.

Yeah right Iruka. I give him a What chyu talkin bout Willis look. "So?"

"I've come to kill you and take your immortal flesh."

…WTF?! Immortal flesh?! That's just creepy! I wipe the shock and disgust of my face, my eyes turning from pale yellow to light blue and sigh."Iruka what are you doing?"

Water ninja/Iruka looks baffled. "Huh? What are you talking about girl?"

"Iruka please. It didn't work. Its not going to work now stop being a creepy stranger."

Water ninja/Iruka sighs and releases transformation jutsu.

"What was that all about anyway?" I ask even though I already know why.

Iruka looked away sheepishly. "Sorry Ren. I was just concerned...

I tilted my head to the side. "Concerned about Naruto and the Chunin exams?"

Iruka looked utter dumbfounded. "H-How did-?"

I give him a sneaky smile my eyes turning gold. "I see and hear everything, Iruka-tan." I say like the smart ass I am. "But you shouldn't worry. Naruto is strong. A bit of an airhead but still strong."

Iruka smiles. "Yea, after seeing him in action today...I think he might be ready.

I give him a reassuring smile and he pats my head. "I better go on home. You need your rest."

What the hell? I was on my way home until you stopped me! Stupid adult.

The Next Day-

At the Bridge-

9:00am-

Ha! I got here at 8:45 while everyone else got here at 6:00! Suckers! Me, Naruto, and a reluctant Sasuke were playing spoons with the cards I brought and kunai. We were enjoying the game until Sakura lost her temper…again.

"Grrr! WHY, WHY, WHY! ITS THE SAME THING EVERYDAY! WE SHOW UP AND THEN HE SHOWS UP LATE EVERYDAY! I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO WASH MY HAIR!"

Really? I couldn't tell.

Naruto suddenly stood up making the cards fly everywhere. "YEA! AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO CHANGE MY UNDERWEAR!"

Sakura looked at him repulsed. "You didn't? That's pretty gross Naruto."

I glared at Naruto and snapped my fingers to get his attention. he looked at me. I pointed to the scattered cards. "52 pick up. NOW."

Naruto looked defeated and started to pick up the cards…Then Kakashi appeared out of freaking nowhere!

"Hey guys!" Kakashi greeted giving us a peace sign.

Naruto and Sakura glared at the teacher. "YOUR LATE! AGAIN!"

I simply returned the gesture of the peace sign.

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Uh Sorry."

Yeah right. You probably don't even care. Kakashi then takes out four pieces of paper.

Kakashi-I know this may be shocking but I recommended you guys for the Chunin Exams.

Sakura looked confused. "The Chunin Exams?"

Is she stupid? Didn't we go over all the ninja rankings a few chapters ago? Or at least in school? And I mean c'mon! if we have a genin exam why wouldn't we have a chunin exam?!

Kakashi sighed. "Your repeating me Sakura(Ren: YES. YOU ARE!). Yes the Chunin Exams. You guys can decide weather you want to take the Exams or not. If you are, you are to report to room 301 at the Academy in one week.

Naruto then jumps up and hugs Kakashi-sensei. I wanna be in the love too! So I jump on Kakashi too!

Naruto smiled like a newb. "Kakashi-sensei your the best! Believe it!" Insert eye twitch.

Kakashi tried shaking us off. "Hey don't drool on my vest!"

"Thank you Kakashi!" I cheered.

"Iruka told me that you already knew my dear Ren."

"Ah ha ha…ha."

Kakashi finally shook us off and began to walk away. "Well, That's all I have to say. See you guys later!" And then he disappeared

Wait! What the heck we don't have ANY training today?!

Sakura stared after the teacher. "He sure was in a rush.

I sigh, tired of listening to Sakura talk. "No duh, pinkie. He's probably gone of to read his Icha Icha book."

Naruto laughed. Yea? Is that what people call porn?

'Yes. Yes it is Naru-chan."

Sasuke gave me a questioning look. "How do you know that?"

"…Anyway aren't you guys a little mad that Kakashi had you guys wait for three hours only to just tell us one thing and not have any training to do?

"…"

"…"

"…"

""WHAT THE FU-""

To be continued! Dedicated to Your Mother as a belated birthday present Happy Birthday!

Look in the review box someone signed in as "your mother"

NO FLAMMING

REVIEW


	24. Chapter 24

IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

Dedicated to ILOVEANIME123, my 200th reviewer

¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸.•´¨"¤.¸¸

Aw Yeah! Time for the chunin exams. This is going to be totally bad ass. Like, for real.

As I continue to walk to…my destination, I see Sakura just standing there fidgeting and looking all worthless like a dope.

…Wait a flip flopping minute…oh glob, she's STILL feeling bad for herself because Sasuke said she was a worse ninja than Naruto. WHICH SHE IS!

Siiiiigh. I guess I'll help her. I don't want to but if we're down each other's throat the entire time, we're all gonna die. I slowly trudge over to her. This is going to be more painful then a root canal. And I've had one of those right before Christmas, they freaking suck.

"Hey Sakura." I say in a irritated voice.

She looked over at me shocked at first then glared. "Wha-?!"

"Shut up. Do NOT talk till I'm done spewing more words." I interrupt her with a deadly look on my face. She stays quiet when she sees my eyes turn red.

"Look, I know that we…well…hate each other, but since you and I are on the same team I say we make a truce during the chunin exam. Cause if we wanna pass we can't be trying to kill each other at the same time…and we're BOTH pretty strong so we should help each other along with Naruto and Sasuke…so…truce?" Ugh. So nasty. Its like that sympathy for the devil stuff.

She thinks for a moment then nods and we shake hands on it. Wee. We walk to the academy in silence. I could tell by the look on her face she was thinking "this is so awkward!" but do I care? Not at all. We see the guys at the entrance.

"What is up you little tarts!" I say grinning. They sweat dropped. I don't even know why I said that.

As we entered the Academy and that whole bit wherethe guards are blocking the door because of the genjutsu thingy and sasuke acted all bad ass after and sakura gained confidence because sasuke praised her.

I start hanging on Sasuke like a little kid. "Sasuke-why did you do that? Now she thinks you like her~" he lets out a sigh but smirks at my antics. Yes! I am growing on him! Soon I will control all the bishonen in this goddamn series! A boy walks up Sasuke and me technically since I'm hanging on him. Oh Christ, its Neji Hyuuga. Freaking hate that Nazi.

By the way Nazis=bad. XD

"Hey you. Whats your name?" Neji asked.

Sasuke glared at him. "Its common for people to introduce their self first."

Oh my god not this chiz again.

The hyuuga ignored the rudeness."Hey your a Rookie aren't you? How old are you?"

Pedo-bear.

"Thats none of your business."

"What was that?"

Crap, shits going to go down. I shall interfere!

"You're from the Hyuuga clan, right?" Nice Ren. Why don't you point out that the sky is blue or that an apple is a fruit.

Neji smirks at me. "You're pretty smart. Tell me, who are you."

Seriously?! He's easily impressed. "Not really but I-"

Sasuke covered my mouth with his hand. "Like I said. Its common for people for people to introduce them self first." HIS HANDS ARE SO CLAMY!

Okay I'm bored of this little conversation I'm going to Subway…crap I can't…meatball sandwich…

"Come on guys, lets go." Sakura finally said something smart!

And we walked away. On our way to room 301 I got lost cause I had to pee. Curse my tiny bladder and ended up by myself.

"NARUUUUTO! SAAAASUKE! SAAAKURA! Where are you tatter tots?!"

I searched around the building for my team until I heard someone fighting in the next room. I looked in the room and saw Naruto dead on the ground and Sasuke totally beaten in Sakura's lap and Rock lee standing there like a putts.

Damn it all. I sighed. "Oh to the my god. What the hell are you guys doing. I can't even go to the bathroom without you morons screwing up. And speaking of morons; Naruto get up man. You're embarrassing yourself man. Freaking useless ass dork."

Oh yeah I'm pissed. I hate pointless fighting unless its on TV.

I look at Sasuke and Sakura with a changed look on my face. I smiley sweetly at them.

"GET THE HELL UP OR ELSE I'LL RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND PLAY DOUBLE DUTCH WITH THEM.(HEART)"

Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto all stood next to each other completely scared.

We were about to leave until a freaking tortoise appears in front of Lee.

"Whoa look! A talking turtle!" Naruto gasped.

"It's a tortoise and we don't have time for it no matter how cool it is."

A man thenappears ontop of the turtle. He was posing in a weird way and he had just as bushy eyebrows as RockLee did. I knew who he was. He was MightGuy.

MightGuy shouted "Hello everybody!"

We all screamed in unison. This guy was freaking BANANAS!

"Hes got bushier eyebrows than RockLee!" Naruto screamed.

"Do not insult Guy-Sensei! He is the best sensei ever!" RockLee obviously said that.

Can we go now.

RockLee is then punched by MightGuy. HOLY PEANUT BUTTER CUPS! CHILD ABUSE!

MightGuy looked at him with tears in his eyes. "Now that you learned your lesson...oh Lee! I'm so sorry!"

RockLee cried as well. "Oh Guy-Sensei!"

Their eyes began to water up and they hugged.

MightGuy stood up in a superman pose, still crying. "Let us run into the sunset with the power of youth!"

I can never unsee what I just saw. "hey." I said to my scarred for life teammates. They looked back at me. "Let's. Leave." We all nodded.

MightyGuy suddenly popped up behind us. "Hey!"

Sakura,Naruto and I screamed in terror running away as I dragged Sasuke by the collar as he died a little inside, from one of the most weirdest things we've ever seen.

"Kakashi what are you doing here?" I said as I some how found myself in front of a door.

"Glad you made it Sakura." Dude he just ignored me!

Sakura looked surprised. "What do you mean Sensei?"

Kakashi-Only groups of three can enter here, but in this case, all 4 of you.

"So if I didn't come here-"

C'mon we went over this exact same thing when we first became a ninja team.

Kakashi smiled beneath the mask. "Yes. The guys and Naruko wouldn't have been able to go any farther. But I'm glad you did come . . I'm proud of you guys. Good Luck."

We then opened the doors and entered the room.

Sakura gasped "So this is the Chunin Exams..."

Well yeah, that's the whole goddamn reason we're here…Woah

TBC

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